Surrendering

I've been posting everyday in November and leaving lots of quick notes instead of lengthy reflective entries. But I just have to take the time to journal about day last week. I told my sister in law a little about it today over coffee ~ but after reviewing these pictures, God's message to me became very clear! And so I share with you, or maybe it's for an older me, looking back on this post, dreaming backwards to the day that I went for a memorable walk with my 6, 4 and 1 year old baby girls.

The day hadn't gone as planned. First the girls were out of school and when I awoke, I had nothing on the agenda for us. That alone can make for an interesting day sometimes. Right after doing breakfast, I made a quick morning plan that included doing the morning dishes and maybe a load of laundry to feel better about my house's status and then getting the girls OUT of the house to play at our local indoor park. I always feel better with a bit of a plan.

Just as I started unloading a dishwasher, Mike stormed in, obviously in a big hurry, asking me to follow him to his office. He quick explained a needed favor which involved sending lots of checks out to subcontractors, including finding all the addresses, enveloping and stamping and mailing. I was eager to help, as I rarely get the chance to make a dent in his to-do lists. But of course what would have taken him or me 30 minutes without kids interrupting...now took me around 2 hours to finish.

After wrapping the task up, I did a big gulp surveying the dishes that would have to wait and the mess that had piled up more since I had made the office my attempted hide-out for the morning. I just had to get my energetic girls out of the house ~ I couldn't make them watch one more cartoon while I did my am chores. So we all got bathed and my new mental plan was to head to the post office and now that the indoor park was closed for the day...where would we go for fun.

The morning and my nerves continued to escalate in frustration as Maisie would not agree to any warm clothes.

That was my cracking point...and I locked myself in a room to call Mike. I needed to voice that I needed a break (after the hunting trip) and parenting advice with Maisie. He validated my need to get out although he couldn't do it right then, and then gave me the green light to let the clothes battle go with Maisie. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and a huge wind had filled my sails all at the same time. There are other areas that I can spend my energy...I know that now. It just took me a long time to stop fighting her.

So, you will notice on our walk that she is wearing shorts and under those rubber boots are BARE feet. But please also notice the smile and sense of freedom she exudes.

After that phone call, I told her that she could pick out anything she wanted to wear in her drawers...and off we went on two errands and back for all of our reward...a walk in the fields adjacent to our house.

Daphne packed a backpack with band-aids, candy, pretzels and water, "just in case we got lost". And in an attitude of anticipation, I proudly swung the camera around my neck.

That was one of the BEST walks of my life. It wasn't too long, but it was somewhat adventurous and definitely beautiful and I felt the joy of surrender.

Let go...and God's blessings shall surely come!