In this current world of oversharing and constant posting of our day to day blow by blows, I’m constantly filtering myself. What to share? What to hold back? What is private? What is public? When is pride okay? When is plain old sadness okay?
I have no clue.
Especially when it comes to those “bummers” in our life that when sat on a shelf of perspective of other possible “bummers” in our lives we think well shoot it’s not so bad.
I don’t know how I’d even handle some of those true tragedies we hear of- cancer, deadly accidents, anxieties that stop people from functioning... the list goes on just in my own little community. And that’s in the first world people. A friend just returned from Haiti and she told me we have NO idea. No.idea. How others survive.
I consider all this in my head when something happens in my world like last night.
Maisie loves to dance. In her little world it’s BIG- its one of the things that brings her joy and right now she’s muddled down with other teenage woes that keeps that smile at bay a lot.
So when she started feeling pain in her ankle 2 months ago we were like “shoooooot”. But keeping our chins up with paid the expensive podiatry bill and rose early 2 times a week for 6 weeks for the prescribed physical therapy. And then we went back to the 200 dollars a pop podiatrist who just said well now you try to dance on pointe again and hope the pain is gone.
Last night was the 7 week mark- no pointe shoes for 7 weeks... so we said our prayers and we had nervous tummies and we dusted off those pretty shoes and Maisie looked beautiful doing what she has some natural gifting in and guess what? The pain was there again.
Tears falling. Frustration and Loss felt. The what if feelings if maybe a dream doesn’t take flight even before it got flying.
Gosh darn it these bummers of motherhood sting a bit.
And now we look at second opinions and possible surgery or what. It’s just a bummer right now and I’m choosing to believe it’s not the end of her pointe shoes.
If it is we will come to that conclusion after a little more fighting.
I know it’s not quite correct use of this term but this morning I kept thinking “go to the mattresses!”
Not giving up on that stupid tendon that keeps slipping right over her bone and causing extreme pain. Nope. Not yet.
It’s just a bummer. Thankful for our health and kids at being able to be at school today and special vacations and warm bedding and all the good stuff.
I say we still share the bummers. But in the attitude of we are not gonna stop moving!
More coffee anyone out there? Deep breaths and gotta go do those dishes!