And I tend to be hard on my self- constant guilt for possible wrong doings, precious time lost and you name it- I've felt bad for it. So I'm not gonna spend a lot of time reprimanding myself for writing so many sad pieces lately or for wallowing a bit. It's just what I've needed to do in order to rise from the ashes. In fact I think sometimes in our society we don't grant people enough grace in hard times- and any moments of mental illness.
Americans have so much pride in "living the dream" ... that we feel bad when despite the concrete blessings around us we don't feel like we are "living the dream".
In moving on I want to paint a happier picture of my life and soul. Today I want to say thank you to two people who took me in as a daughter 20 years ago even before my wedding to their son ... they have loved me well.
I can't even list how many amazing things they have done for me, my babies and my existence. Not even sure how to do this justly....
Thank you for your firstborn son- he is my everything.
Thank you for financial gifts that set us in a good path initially as a married couple but of late kept us afloat in hard times.
Thank you for creative parties, nurseries, cakes galore, meals, gardens, horse rides, vacations, trees planted in grand babies names, prayers, letters, special Christmas anniversary, and souvenir gifts!
Thank you for being at both of my parents' funerals and helping with the kids when I needed time to heal.
Thank you for coming to the kids' plays, concerts, games and grandparent days...
For the hugs, the calls, the security that you offer.
I'm so grateful that I have you both- your love for me is not ever taken for granted. I hope I will always make you feel loved and appreciated. All that I've given to my parents last years and days- I will someday give to you.....As you are part of my heart forever.