A Mayflower's Musings

Monday, August 21, 2017

McCall Day 2

    So far today the kids made pancakes with mini candy bars crushed up in them....exciting experience with an almost total eclipse at our beach....LOTS of beach time...swim swim swim jump!

The kids are taking turns driving all the fun vehicles here and I taught ms Paivi Jayne solitaire-  she's hooked!

We had stroganoff for dinner and intend to have a lazy evening of movies, magazines and games!

Settling into vacation mode really fast!!!!!!!

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Pats on backs

Last 10 years haven't been easy on our marriage-  I'll admit that.

Today I started a new book and in the first pages I was mesmerized by a quote....this particular mother had kept secrets of her early life from her kids and with death facing her she said:

"I thought it was what I wanted: to be loved and admired.  Now I think perhaps I'd like to be known."

Ha.  My kids knowwwwww me.  Maybe too well.  My husband too.   No secrets. 

The kids know even when mike and I aren't getting along so well.  But we are sure to say we aren't giving up on US! 

And the last 10 years stretched US a little too much.  A little too thin ... and yet when I looked back I saw so much LOVE between that guy and I .

 


 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 



Thursday, December 29, 2016

I believe....

I loved the movie Miracle on 34th street years and years before Maisie played Susan in Gallery's production 2 years ago -  and now...well, the sweet lines of this movie/play are engrained in my heart forever!

Today as I once again drove the many streets of McMinnville-  noticing every home and every for sale sign,  I realized I was reciting something in my head:

"I believe...I believe...it's silly...but I believe"

 

Just like Susan in the end of the story -  wishing for a real home for her mother and her...skeptical... but hoping that Santa had indeed granted her only wish that Christmas...I find myself in the same predicament.

Wanting to believe 2017 will be the year that we own a home again...not exactly dreaming big, not exactly holding my breath but constantly like a petty child talking to herself to believe even if I don't.

I don't even need anything fancy.  I just want it to be mine.  I feel bad for that wish because it's a first world problem.  

Healthy kids and warm and fed.  Nice clothes and fun vacations.  Writing this is therapeutic.  It helps me remember in two short sentences that I don't WANT for anything.

But in all honesty (and that's what I should name my blog in this season of life Honest Musings) I'm driving around my city reciting "I believe ... I believe... it's silly but I believe."

Because I hope in 2017 I have a home to call our very own.  And if doesn't happen ...well....I still believe God has blessed me pretty mightily and He must still have a purpose in me and my babes staying humble and thankful.

Here's Daphne opening one of her gifts this Christmas-  a Susan Boyle cd from her Auntie Becca...and this encaptulates how my kids responded to all their gifts this year-  with pure genuine  excitement no matter the size of the present.  Pretty much ended 2016 with a bang for me.  I thought I'd ruined the last 5 months in terms of mothering them.  But their little souls seem to be thriving.  

 

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Snow, boo-boos and sickies

So far this Christmas break has been exciting!

 

It started with two snow days for the kids to start their vacation off early.... we all love the white stuff and especially changes in routine.  Basketball, dance, school parties and normal run around were alllll cancelled!  Yay.
 

 
 The kids got to play outside-  sled with friends, and have an impromptu taco dinner with a family that usually wouldn't be able to share dinner with us on a weeknight! 

 

We've watched home alone 1 and 2, Maisie's been reading, Ruby's been drawing, Daphne's been sleeping A LOT!!!! Recuperating from a horrible cold....mikes been working a tiny less than normal but mostly still working more than most.  I've been doing dishes and laundry and eating the sugar cookies that were supposed to go to Henry's school preschool party.  Oh and maisie is helping with chores trying to earn money for her siblings Christmas gifts.  

 

Today I may even try to tackle what appears to be an accumulation of a years worth of shoving things in crannies all over this darn house.  My mom gave me a heart for people but also her unorganized house hold keeping.  I can't find a dang thing EVER.  And did you know that every closet seems to have mismatched socks in it?



Oh--- the reason I wrote this post was to document Ruby's smashed finger.  The injury that was heard 'round the world occurred at the above mentioned dinner with friends.  It got pinched in the inside hinges of a bedroom door and the phrases that came of the kid's mouth were more like what you'd hear from a first time mom pushing out a baby without drugs.


"I wanna die!" "Why me?!?"  "Everyone shut up" "mommmmmy" "is it gonna fall off????"

 

And ever since she asks me to check it a few times a day and I think she still worries it might fall off.  This kid has a a low pain threshold and a case of deeply feeling injustice..... oh my! 

Lastly, on what's officially our first day of winter break-  Henry began puking at 630am and hasn't been far from the toilet since.  

I guess snow and puke is gonna keep us close to home yet another day. It's like winter knows we need a dose of snow and puke every once in awhile to slow down - rub our kids' backs and clean out the closets of our life.

Again-  and always blessed.

 

Monday, December 12, 2016

I'm so thankful for this morning

 

Sitting here with Tate on my lap ...

There's so much I'm excited about -  presents that I've meticulously chosen for so many people ... many of them in route in sealed up in boxes bouncing around in the back of a ups truck... can't wait til they get here!

Family time and days off school and sports and dance events coming to a halt.

The possibility of snow again this week....

My house cleaner coming today (thus the chair laying sideways on the couch in the picture) -  she's amazing. And it's such a treat to see clean floors and bathrooms.

But mostly I'm thankful this particular morning for the chance to give a stab at some of my goals again.  I've realized when I'm sad I resort to old habits much more rooted than my newer healthier habits.  It's hard to climb out of this pit of unhealthy ness again-  and I slipped again this weekend.  But God's mercies are thank goodness new every morning and I'm bound and determined to feel good again -- so my weeks workouts and food are planned and ready to be executed.  

What if we didn't get second chances at all our misgivings and failures?  

Thankful for excitement deep in my soul.  I don't take those feelings for granted anymore.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

We think differently folks....

This is how I write a grocery list (if I even bother)

 

Complete random thinker....

Mike so sequential he made me redo the list for him- 
 

This is why he is so much more successful than me at many things.


Sunday, November 27, 2016

In the periphery....they were there.

I've been writing so much about my mom's battle with dementia, my grief, my struggles with feeling like me again ... that with a magnifying glass on my struggles I haven't sufficiently given credit to all the surrounding blessings.

And I tend to be hard on my self-  constant guilt for possible wrong doings, precious time lost and you name it-  I've felt bad for it.  So I'm not gonna spend a lot of time reprimanding myself for writing so many sad pieces lately or for wallowing a bit.  It's just what I've needed to do in order to rise from the ashes.  In fact I think sometimes in our society we don't grant people enough grace in hard times-  and any moments of mental illness.  

Americans have so much pride in "living the dream" ... that we feel bad when despite the concrete blessings around us we don't feel like we are "living the dream".

In moving on I want to paint a happier picture of my life and soul.  Today I want to say thank you to two people who took me in as a daughter 20 years ago even before my wedding to their son ... they have loved me well.

I can't even list how many amazing things they have done for me, my babies and my existence.  Not even sure how to do this justly....

Thank you for your firstborn son-  he is my everything.

 
Thank you for financial gifts that set us in a good path initially as a married couple but of late kept us afloat in hard times.
 

Thank you for creative parties, nurseries, cakes galore, meals, gardens, horse rides, vacations, trees planted in grand babies names, prayers, letters,  special Christmas anniversary, and souvenir gifts!
 

Thank you for being at both of my parents' funerals and helping with the kids when I needed time to heal.

Thank you for coming to the kids' plays, concerts, games and grandparent days...
 

For the hugs, the calls, the security that you offer.

 

I'm so grateful that I have you both-  your love for me is not ever taken for granted.  I hope I will always make you feel loved and appreciated.  All that I've given to my parents last years and days-  I will someday give to you.....As you are part of my heart forever.