A Mayflower's Musings

Thursday, August 18, 2016

I'm not mother goose or duck

Do you ever feel like you have so many ducks to get in a row that you might as well throw a party and serve duck? 

I swear being a mom couldn't be any more of a responsibility.  

These ducks.  They love me so much and I love them so much that we sorta strangle each other.
 

Make sure Daphne has a fun 13th bday party and a smooth transition to 7th grade.  Transfer request to the chosen middle school, "raw talent" paid for, new clothes that will be just right for a girl that has a woman's body, some cuddle time that she still desires, and that stinkin overdue ortho apt.

 

Maisie.  She's demanding.  Demanding of perfection.  I am not.  We have been working through some tough stuff all year.  She's smart beautiful and talented.  But stronger than me-  way stronger.  And I've let her push me around so now the balance needs to be reset.  Something a professional is helping us do. The to do list for her is new jeans (every girls nightmare unless you are Christie turnington or Kate moss) , a bedroom makeover, a fantastic 11 year old birthday smash,  another school transfer request, a big soccer decision, dance sign ups and possibly a new procedure to avoid morning debacles every school am!  
 
Ruby needs some new clothes too.  Definitely a backpack without a broken zipper,  haircut, transfer request,  soccer and gymnastics sign ups, and hopefully we will have mastered her arithmetic flash cards by September 6th!!!
 

Henry.  Possibly the easiest to do list and yet most tear worthy of them all.  He will turn five with an easy Mikey's pizza birthday party.  And then I will send him to preschool three days a week so I can possibly begin to make money for this family again.  I would be fine with this if I had been the mother to him that I had been to the girls.  He's barely been read to.  He doesn't know his numbers or letters and he's watched way more tv too.  I love him as much and he loves me possibly more.  Oh I shall miss him.  Miss the park dates and the snuggles that I dishwashed and gym workouted away.  He has lived more in my survival mode of the last 5 years than I wished for-  hopefully I can make it up to him!  Sign him up for soccer,  more bedtime read alouds and I'll feel Much better.
 

Budgets.  Parties.  Activities.  Dreams.  

Sent my mom to heaven. Hoping to transfer the hours I used to give to her to my husband and kids.  Please let me not waste them.  I'd like my ducks in a row for once!  Order and sequence and not a pile of feathers.  Please oh please Lord send an Angel that works wonders!
 

1 comment:

Erica Brown said...

I think each of your kids gets what they need from you, you Sweet Stef, "are enough" for each of them. And no, the attention that our first born gets can never be replicated because life gets busier with more love in our lives. You have shown your children, along with their Aunt and Uncle and Great Aunts and Great Uncles, have shown them about grace, compassion and respect in how you honored your Mother with the choices you made to love her to the end. And that my dear, is a gift for the ages for your children. You've done it, with grace and love. Hugs, Erica