Sometimes I think we all spare others the true details in our blogging. Whether it is to avoid criticism, protect our kids, or just to make sure our "memories" get posted in the most positive outlook possible...I think we have all done this - and for great reasons too. I know I have listened to the little voice in my head saying, "don't sound too negative Stef, or this might make me look like a _______ parent, or I don't want ______ reading this when she gets older and getting the wrong idea".
Well, today I had one of those days and I'm going to tell it the way it really went down. Even if you try, there will be something in here for you to judge and want to correct about our lives. And so I shall worn you of it's honest nature and I want to put a disclaimer on little kids' behavior. It doesn't necessarily mean anything about their future lives - - it's part of growing up. Although, you will read about a "character" in this story that doesn't understand that yet!
Okay, finally to the morning I had and to avoid novel proportion length, I have to summarize a few parts, so that I can really bring home others. The first one of these "long stoRIES made short" was the first patience trying event. Although we arrived to kindergarten punctually, Daphne did not want to go in - claiming her tummy hurt (again). She's not lying, but it's nerves and it always goes away. So, instead of rushing her and fanning the flames of the already tearful situation...I took a deep breath, turned on the lullaby cd and said we could just wait in the van until she was ready. She entered the school 30 minutes late still crying, and escorted by her pajama pants wearing mom (me).
First challenge done, I took Ruby and Maisie home. Mike called needing a task done on his computer, so I attempted to barracade myself in his office. I started by checking my e-mail. And to my dismay I found a message from my new internet job, saying that my task evaluation was not to their standards and that I was under further review for a week (in that company those words often mean the boot). Almost in tears, with a feeling of rejection and failure not felt in a long time, I decided to give up all hope of a productive day and jumped into pretend play with my girls.
With a bit of "restaurant" and "hotel" fun, I decided to make our "swim" in the "hotel pool" (bath) worthwhile, so we could really start our day - clean and cute! Here's a true short story - water over all the walls, a dry towel dumped in the bath, and a red bite mark on my arm vanished all reminants of my mostly resilient self.
Still TRYING to pull the day together, I called my grandparents and said, "help, can we come for lunch?...I'm having a bad day!". And I picked up Daphne from school and off we went to Walmart, on our way to our lunch date. You see Daphne had 5 dollars to spend and Maisie had earned a small toy for sleeping without a pull-up for the first time with no accident. Do you see where this is going? And this is where I previously would have been worried that you were at home mocking my stupidity. Plowing forward here anyway.
How did I think it would go having a sometimes volatile 4 year old pick out a "small" toy amongst all the "big" toys?...I asked myself that question later. The tantrum began not long after a walk down the very first aisle. It may have been diffused by me in a different way, but there was a "character" in the aisle with me, and she began sharing her life with me during this tantrum. The tantrum was in its very beginning stage when the character looked at me and said, "I'm sorry...I don't have children. I'm just getting something for my niece". If that wasn't a weird enough comment, she said, "In fact, I'm getting my tubes tied this week. I wanted a full hysterectomy, but my doctor wouldn't let me." I'm apologizing to her about her cyst and trying to manage Maisie at the same time. After that I gave Maisie an ultimatum about not repeating a certain phrase she kept saying...of course followed by that same phrase out of her mouth. What could I do with a stranger (who abbhores the idea of having kids) watching my every move but follow through with my threat that she no longer was going to get a toy today. It was then that the full out blow out occurred.
As I tried to calm her down to no avail, the woman threw in a couple more "treasures" - like, "Oh, my...are all these yours?" "I don't know how women like you do it" and "Those of us with out kids don't understand this sort of thing" (pointing to Maisie).
If that wasn't bad enough, as I tell Daphne we are going to have to put her toy down and leave, Maisie runs away from me, and the lady is calling behind me, "Is she like this a lot?!!" I can't believe I had the composure to even answer her in that moment.
Somehow by the grace of God, I managed to get all three of them (none in a cart - bad decision) out of the store in full tantrum mode apologizing to everyone as I passed them. In the parking lot it got even more brutal, as Maisie played cat and mouse with me and the other girls waiting for me patiently at the side of the van. Cars stopping, a terrified woman offering her help...I finally got her into the car! And just as I did, a police car with the words "community support" drove by my van, no doubt looking for the child running from her mother.
Mike was at home, so I took Maisie home and returned to WalMart with the other girls to fulfill my promise to Daphne. (are you shaking your head at me again?) I pleaded with Daphne to let us go to another store because I didn't want to show my face again there so soon, but she had her heart set on something there and I wasn't about to punish her for her sister's antics. So we went through a different door and took the toy to a different set of registers. And guess what - the character soon got in line right behind me!
Here's what she said this time. "So...did you get her what she wanted?" I said no, I took her home to her dad to be in time out, and came back to get my other daughter her toy. Then she replies...
"Wow...that one at home really needs to be tamed!"
Are you kidding me?!!!
When I retold the story to Mike when we got home. He said, you should have told her that when she gets her tubes tied, she outta get her mouth tied too. Why don't I ever think of comments like that?!!!
Seriously, can you believe my day? I go to thinking that even though nothing like that will ever happen in heaven - if it did, a shower of starbucks cards would come from up above - to reward me for what I just withstood.
Yep there it is folks. Imperfect mom. Imperfect kids. Judge all you like - I'm so over it!!! :)
