I blame family members, Becca and Jill, and Pam, for my high standards in party planning. Before them I was completely unaware of beautiful invitations, Martha stewart food, and homemade decorations. I was in awe and realized I could use my creativity to make some of that beauty come to fruition too.
I've recently had a personal ah-ha moment, that through the years I make other people's standards my own. In grade school my best friends were the tiniest ones in school, so I took that goal on (like we can change our genetics or something!). Then once I learned that teachers liked me more when I got good grades, I took that on as well. When I learned they liked me even more when I was great with kids, I added babysitting to my repertoire of "pleasing others". My go-go-ness continued when my best friend in high school and I liked to push each other to get the best grades in our classes - we succeeded - and it fueled my "perfect student" reputation.
(Jamie, I think perfectionists are drawn together - I credit you for my college scholarship)So at this point in life, I was on a constant diet, doing ever bit of homework passed my way, babysitting everyone's kids, and did I mention a cheerleading extraordinaire. None of these bad things, but probably trying to please others a bit too much. It pleased me too of course. Amazingly my parents NEVER never pushed me - they didn't parent us that way - I did it to myself!
Fast forward to getting married and adding certain talented women into my life and now I was adding domestic goddess to my standards as well. It won't take you by surprise that eventually all this goal reaching, perfectionism, pleasing others "stuff" eventually exploded in my face.
Right now I am working at re-programming myself. And back to the beginning of my post...I know that I naturally fit into the camp of wanting to create beautiful things. And I adore Jill, Becca and Pam and continue to join them in the pursuit for pretty parties and such. But I know that I don't have to either. Today I put together a FREE, but very cute evite for Daphne. It's all about balance and honesty now.
But I'm okay with dreaming too. Visit tinparade.com if you like pretty things too. Prepare to be in the dreaming camp tho, unless you have a big bank to back you up:). If you do, buy me one of the birthday banners.
9 comments:
Man I so hear your heart during this post. I don't know if you got Tobin's Chucky E Cheese evite today but that's about as much energy as I have for parties these days.
Tobin had just the best first two birthday parties ever. The twins had one great birthday party.
Now people get emails and a hotdog if lucky.
My problem is I love to throw a "good" party. I love every detail. But browsing in a paper store with three kids is suicide and once I realized that they have more fun at places like Chucky E Cheese and a few balloons are just as magical as hours with of perfectly coordinating decorations I had to face the facts.
One day I will throw fabulous parties again but this just ain't the season.
Love you my friend.
Love that we are learning together
B
Amen Sista! I was just talking to Darci about the holidays and as excited as I always am for them, I am dreading them a little bit this year because I know that I will not live up to my own expectations this year. I am trying to figure out whats important and let the rest go! (One day our kids will be out of the house, we'll miss them, but we'll have all the time in the world for pretty creations! -Thats what I keep telling myself! Enjoy the season!)
Hey Stef,
Well we sure had fun working on some parties when there was more time right?
I think you are so right, finding the balance between enjoying creating something beautiful and feeling like you have to do it can be tough.
Despite your inner struggle for balance that you tell us about at times here on the blog, I hope you know how graceful you pull off mothering and life and yes, even parties! Love the evite pick.
Jill
Ha! Stef, ANYTHING you, Aunt Pam, Becca or Jill does when it comes to all things party planning is far above my talents, so I am in continual awe of you no matter what. Every time I try to be like you, I end up beyond frustrated because it's not what I'm good at. But I sure appreciate what you do!
Hi there Stef, This may be my favorite post from you. I hear ya on all of that stuff. You are one that I could try to keep up with with all of your cute ideas and all....but then i remembered that i am not home because i work full time. You do too. Except you work from home :) That is tough. Just know that when the girls get bigger to enjoy these moments now and that someday you can at anytime pick up where you decided to rest. Miss you!
Well, as one of the noncreative friends in your life, I am always amazed by what you do!
To my Sweet Flower,
Your petals are perfect to me! We all fall short, but God loves you for just trying and being who you are and SO DO I. You and I are both high achievers which is great, but well said honey on finding a balance. I tend to get unbalanced quite often that's why I need to go hunting more :)
I think you're the most wonderful mother and wife any man could ever ask for. I didn't even realize your amazing gifts when we got married and it's fun to see you developing each day into more and more of a beautiful woman.
Keep up the good work sweetheart!!
Love,
Your hubby
I think we are the same person. As I am reading I was amazed at how much we have in common, and I feel your pain girl! As hard as I try I never seem to do the pretty party. And sometimes I feel let down by some of my not so domestic qualities. I find myself over working.
Well everything you do is awesome!
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