A Mayflower's Musings

Monday, August 24, 2009

Planning Birthday Parties


I blame family members, Becca and Jill, and Pam, for my high standards in party planning. Before them I was completely unaware of beautiful invitations, Martha stewart food, and homemade decorations. I was in awe and realized I could use my creativity to make some of that beauty come to fruition too.




I've recently had a personal ah-ha moment, that through the years I make other people's standards my own. In grade school my best friends were the tiniest ones in school, so I took that goal on (like we can change our genetics or something!). Then once I learned that teachers liked me more when I got good grades, I took that on as well. When I learned they liked me even more when I was great with kids, I added babysitting to my repertoire of "pleasing others". My go-go-ness continued when my best friend in high school and I liked to push each other to get the best grades in our classes - we succeeded - and it fueled my "perfect student" reputation.
(Jamie, I think perfectionists are drawn together - I credit you for my college scholarship)


So at this point in life, I was on a constant diet, doing ever bit of homework passed my way, babysitting everyone's kids, and did I mention a cheerleading extraordinaire. None of these bad things, but probably trying to please others a bit too much. It pleased me too of course. Amazingly my parents NEVER never pushed me - they didn't parent us that way - I did it to myself!




Fast forward to getting married and adding certain talented women into my life and now I was adding domestic goddess to my standards as well. It won't take you by surprise that eventually all this goal reaching, perfectionism, pleasing others "stuff" eventually exploded in my face.




Right now I am working at re-programming myself. And back to the beginning of my post...I know that I naturally fit into the camp of wanting to create beautiful things. And I adore Jill, Becca and Pam and continue to join them in the pursuit for pretty parties and such. But I know that I don't have to either. Today I put together a FREE, but very cute evite for Daphne. It's all about balance and honesty now.




But I'm okay with dreaming too. Visit tinparade.com if you like pretty things too. Prepare to be in the dreaming camp tho, unless you have a big bank to back you up:). If you do, buy me one of the birthday banners.

Monday, August 17, 2009

For Your Viewing Pleasure:)

Note that Grandma Pam unknowingly interrupted the big "baking show" - so just ignore her and my little side conversation. Daph was being too cute to stop taping!!


Friday, August 14, 2009

Time Well Spent











I just returned from taking the three girls to our family cabin in McCall, Idaho. We were gone for 10 days without Mike.

It was a glorious, memorable trip - filled with fun and successes. Each moment held together by a common thread called "I asked, I was given and I received help".

First of all, my mom's sister, Kathie watched Daphne and Maisie for 6 hours the day before I left, so that I could clean and pack at an almost empty house (now a days one napping Ruby is a piece of cake). When I picked up the girls that evening, having accomplished so much and knowing they had been so entertained - I felt the blessing of family with a grateful heart.

Then, the day we set out on our long trek, we stopped at a half-way mark to spend the evening and night with my mom's other sister, Sue, my uncle Les and their youngest child, my sweet cousin Kayla. They fed us, entertained us (at their town's outdoor swimming pool), and fed us again the next morning. I stayed up late and caught up on life with them and remembered respecting them as a young girl and now still respecting them as a grown one. Driving away, I once again felt so blessed and loved.

When we finally arrived in McCall, exhausted from two back-to-back LONG hauls, we were greeted by my loving, giving mother-in-law, Pam. She had a cake waiting for us and lots of fun plans in the works for the girls. Even though the weather did not cooperate the weekend we spent with her, I didn't care. I'll take a fire in a fireplace any rainy day - winter or summer! It was so good to be at the cabin with the girls and enjoy it with Pam. She took them on special one-on-one dates, and spoiled us to meals out and a trip to the ever so warm hotsprings. And she was there when I just HAD to go back to bed at 9am in the morning after a rough night. When I usually would have just kissed the day goodbye, I got a refresher. Then, the night before she left, she called a cleaning lady to come in when my trip was over, so that I wouldn't have to clean bathrooms and mop floors at 12am the night before we had to leave! Needless to say, when we sadly said goodbye to her, we all felt doted on and loved.

For a day and a night and most of the next day, I got to enjoy the cabin alone with my girls. We were lazy. And when we tried doing the unlazy, like grocery shopping...it was really hardwork, but rewarding all in the same breath. And at the end of what was a long day of mothering, I enjoyed watching a movie and falling asleep on the couch all alone that night. I felt safe and loved by Him. And as we prepared for MY mom's arrival, with Daphne as our leader, we were like a little party committee. I felt like a young mother hen, loved by her little chicks.

Then for the bulk of our trip, I got to enjoy my charges in a focused way. We picked huckleberries (daily, sometimes thrice daily), we took walks (daily, sometimes thrice daily), and picked all the flowers in arms length, we cut out pictures from old magazines, I baked cookies and muffins and ate white bread, we read books, watched only a little tv, and I swam in the lake with all three of my girls despite the initial shock of the cold water each time. I got muddy feet, and berry stained hands, mosquito bites all over my body, and not the best sleep, which is common for a mom on vacation. But I went to bed each night feeling very tired, but for the BEST reason. The day had been purposeful.In all of my bedtime prayers I thanked God to be feeling such joy with my kids.


And one of the major contributors behind each of these activities was my mom on the sidelines. I took walks with just Daphne, and just Maisie, and just Daphne and Maisie, etc etc. Why, because mom was there to allow me the freedom to give extra attention. I felt safe swimming way out far with Daphne, because mom had Maisie and Ruby back on shore...or she could hand me Ruby from the end of the dock when she was reaching for me. She let me sleep in one morning, or maybe I just shoved them out my door that morning, saying, "Go find Grandma, she's up already." I took a nap on the couch one afternoon too, a really unnecessary sort of slumber - but she ushered the kids to the other room when she saw my eyed closed. And she jumped in with dishes and led many an art project and didn't seem phased when they left a pile of cut up magazine pictures in their wake. She mothers my mothering in a supportive, non-threatening, beautiful way.

Her help made the week doable and enjoyable. And her companionship in the midst of all the mundane, made our relationship stronger and so very meaningful. A full circle moment. I even added crossword puzzles to my repertoire, and got to watch her watch the movie August Rush for the first time ~ we loved our movie time!

We have been home now for 5 hours (after her and I made the 10+ hour voyage home). Once again a success. Not fun, but accomplished nonetheless.

This time away, made me remember how to love myself a little more. I'm so grateful to all those that love and HELP me too. And I'll try to hold onto my McCall lessons, because I think that's the path God wants me on...it's a path well walked upon - tennis shoes on the ground, no cell phone service available - it's a path where I stop and pick the berries and the wild flowers, where I make art messes that don't have to go in the trash right away, and one where there are people a mile back and a mile ahead that are ready to pick me up when I fall or get lost!