A May Flower's Musings

A Magical Evening

2012-01-14T23:08:00.000-08:00

If you know me well you know I LOVE movies. And I'm having SO much fun introducing the kids to my favorites and experiencing new ones with them too! I have been waiting a long time for the night when I felt they were ready for E.T. Ruby might be a little young for a couple of the scary parts and there were a couple words that they know aren't words we say. And each family has their own comfort zones...but for me and my group we were READY.

They loved it. Ate it up..kissing each other on the cheeks in excitement when the bikes rose into the air at the end and tearing up when Eliot and ET said goodbye!

Spielberg. Wow. Timeless. Classic. Movie music at it's best....

Where were you when you saw this movie the first time? And don't comment if you've never seen it...just.go.rent/stream/buy it!

One More (holiday) Thing

2012-01-12T10:51:00.001-08:00

Before memories of Christmas 2011 are completely blurs of the past, I have to document something funny. Ruby began learning more of the Christmas carols this year and could be caught singing portions of them all day long as she played. Here were a couple of my favorite lyric hiccups:

"Frosty the Snowman" - ...down to the village, with a corn dog in his hand...

"Deck the Halls" - ...tis the season to be jollies...(never fail every time it was jollies (plural)...cracked me up!)

"Go Tell it On the Mountain" - Go tell it on the mountain that Jesus Chlist is born...(once again even after correction it was Chlist)

That little girl is a hoot I tell ya!

Ruby turns four!

2012-01-09T10:01:00.000-08:00

Our baby girl is four! I guess I'm sad because I was either pregnant or postpartum her entire 3 year old existence and I think it went extra fast. Also, with babies on my mind I forgot to realize that my "Ruby baby" was growing up in front of my very eyes.

This year I'm going to do a 180 in my thinking. I'm going to try not to say, "she or he is getting so big" and "time is going too fast". Instead I am going to remember that they are actually really little still and I'm going to try and relish the baby in ALL four of them still. I'll probably mess up a lot and either try to grow them up too fast (in efforts to excell in school or help around the house etc) or feel sentimental when I see old pictures and videos etc, but I really am going to try and live in the moment more.

Precious moments like Ruby's first ballet performance in December and yesterday at her birthday party:

Christmas 2011 Gallery

2012-01-09T08:58:00.001-08:00

I have this little unwritten rule that I have to finish my chores before I blog. You know the rest of the story, right? My chores are never done so I rarely give myself permission to write and show pictures. But Christmas was 2 weeks ago and Ruby's birthday was last week...so I am ignoring all else and documenting a few memories this morning.

We had a wonderful Christmas season - full of friends, family, food, advent activities and it just wouldn't have been complete without a kid throwing up all day on Christmas (Maisie). It went too fast and I have been reflecting on how we slow time to enjoy it even more. But I know that's everyone else's challenge this time of year too, so I find comfort that I'm just another mom in that club. At least I snapped a lot of pictures:

Once upon a time (before kids) my sister in law and I went on a trip to London and stayed up into the wee hours of the night dreaming and talking about our children-to-be. We envisioned them looking just like this:

The reality is that most of the time they look and act like this:

Of course we LOVE them BOTH ways:)

Henry was a trooper as he got passed around and had lots of interrupted sleep. Luckily since he's the fourth baby he's sorta used to "rollin" that way!

Grandma Pam always gets the kids and Becca and I new Christmas jammies - a tradition we heart! She always displays them in new and cute ways.

I laughed out loud when I saw this progression of pictures....Daphne gives her gift givers the best reactions. This one deserved it (a trip to the Embassy Suites and shopping at the mall with her Grandma Pam)

This is out of order, but we had a really fun time making gingerbread houses with the cousins the week BEFORE Christmas. Maisie won the prize for most attention to detail!

My cute sis-in-law Meghann, and sister Lesley!

The Absence of a Friend

2012-01-02T14:50:00.000-08:00

I know sometimes it's hard enough to put yourself into someone else's heart when we are comparing human stories, so when it comes to animals it must be even harder. So I don't expect you to think long on this or shed a tear. But we lost our 11 1/2 year old dog this weekend.

We've had him since he was 7 weeks old so he's been a part of most of Mike's and my marriage. He lived with us in three different houses and was around for each of the kids' homecomings. And now every time I turn a corner or open a door I expect to see him or go to feed him and he's not there.

For a very sentimental person I don't have a lot of words, except that Gus will genuinely be missed. He had a kinder soul than most people I've met and a gentler way with kids than most adults I know too. Fortunately he had a great last 6 months - with a first and last trip to our family lake cabin, a summer spent at our parent's 85 acre property keeping my father in law company all the days long, a really memorable fall walk, and a recent outing to the beach.

Here's some of my favorite last pictures of him.

Catching up ... best pictures lately.

2011-12-17T00:02:00.001-08:00

Life has sped by since Thanksgiving. Sometimes I want to just pick up and move somewhere where we could hide from the clock.

Here are the best pictures of the last few weeks:

The stories behind the pictures that uploaded in no chronological order...happy kids/happy cousins on Thanksgiving 2011....chubby 3 month old who found his thumb, smiles a lot and sleeps through the night...two sisters who spend a lot of mornings together creating pretend worlds and fun bath times before PM kindergarten...and a most memorable Friday during Advent where only the kids and I snuck away to our family beach cabin JUST for the day with cookie making, movie watching and rock throwing as the highlites of our "cabin day".

In a time that bursts with memory making, stories bred out of the speed we live life this time of year and reflections that stir my heart when I sit alone and ponder the greatest gift the world has ever been given...my blogging/writing mind composes daily. I want to show you what we are doing and tell you how I am feeling. But the life I lead is so full right now that it leaves little time for the words to be written down. I'm sure you feel the same. Time to turn off the Christmas tree lights and get some sleep. Tomorrow's a new day!

Advent at our house...

2011-12-08T06:28:00.001-08:00

First off, I want to explain how I fell off the blogging everyday in November bandwagon. Not too complicated. I was doing it with two of my favorite people and when they gave up, I did too. It's more fun when you have people holding you accountable. Plus, I still had things to say but it is time consuming and the approaching holidays started looking me straight in the face.

Speaking of Christmas... Last year I loved taking a real intentional approach at activities during Advent. We did all the things we typically do like bake cookies and drive around to see all the lit houses but added more planned out items like a few art projects and family game night and caroling and a Polar Express night complete with a necklace I made them with a bell hanging on it.

This year started out the same as last. The first of December came fast and I didn't have my plan laid out. It takes me a week of flying by the seat of my pants day by day until I finally sit down and make my list. So far I've added a few elements that are meant to enhance character building and intentional teaching of the real meaning of Christmas.

We've been dealing with some bad attitudes and naughty (not nice) behavior and it just didn't feel right to be planning all these fluff activities with out some reinforcement of values. So for our first art activity they painted Christmas trees on poster boards and then decorated (glitterized) construction paper ornaments. (side note - don't clean your hardwood floors and then do a glitter project later in the day!) The trees are now hanging in the dining room and they get to put an ornament on whenever they are "caught" having good manners and using kind words. So far so good.

Then last night I found a great site for the addition of devotions to our nights in December. Everything I found was too wordy..too adult. This is 25 pages to color with scripture from the nativity story.

http://www.dltk-bible.com/advent/index.htm

I made each girl a folder with all the pages in it. Last night we did four of the pages and then they colored away - all of us picnic style under the Christmas tree. It was so perfect because as they colored all around my legs I quizzed them about the names of the people and practiced memorizing one of the scriptures. They said funny things like, "I think the angel was named Annie" and Ruby pronounces Joseph - Jofess. We ended the evening at the dining room table with a new Christmas puzzle and Christmas Bingo. I don't foresee us doing the devotions every night but a few nights each week.

It is harder to get the dinner dishes and other chores done when I spend my evening time like above. But oh so worth it.

The other thing we are throwing in this year are a few days where we plan "Random Acts of Kindness" and go about stealth mode to make someones day better without any recognition.

My dad used to always annoy us with his favorite saying, "Prior planning prevents poor performance". Oh, I hate to say it but it is so true, especially with kids. I'm not good at it. I bumble through too many things. Spontaneous, not disciplined, well meaning me. Sometimes that model can breed the best unexpected moments of joy. But good parenting really takes both.

I'd love to leave you pictures but this is as good as it gets for now.

November 28 ~ Sugar and Spice and Everything Ruby

2011-11-28T21:28:00.000-08:00

This little almost 4 year old has recently stole my heart all over again. I don't know if it's the book I've been reading, having our last baby, or just her...but I just want to squeeze her in hugs and freeze time. She is in a really cute phase or maybe like I said above, I'm just noticing the cute stuff more?! Here are some things I really want to remember:

A month or so ago, she was at the home of one of our favorite babysitters and on their way back home, she said to Lacey, "I bet you had fun with me today because I'm so pretty". Ha!

She also has an unreasonable fear of bears lately. This at times is cute and most of the time is super annoying. She follows me everywhere and screams bloody murder if she can't find me for just a second. We go over again and again that no bears live in our city...but alas it doesn't seem like reasoning is helping.

This leads us to two other funny moments. I was singing a song to her the other night at bedtime and I interjected my own funny lyrics about "no bears, pirates or wolves are around"...she stopped me and said that "actually mom I like wolves". Okay then.

And supposedly, "I'm only scared on Tuesdays mom"...so every morning she wakes up and asks which day it is. An interesting attempt at bravery that doesn't seem to add up since she really is scared daily. Maybe she's just not used to her sisters being gone.

She can be really whiny and sometimes have an attitude that is new to her personality, and having no naps can make the late afternoon miserable for her and I...but over-all, she has good manners, the sweetest smile, the funniest big girl facial expressions and precious little talking voice.

Oh, and my ultimate favorite Ruby story lately was realizing that she asks to be the "tall sister" every time she plays house (her favorite pretend game). I love that in her little world she views the oldest sister as the "tall one". And even more that she must look up to her big sisters to want to pretend to be them:)

Our friends just found out they are having a third girl and it made me think of how happy I am that we had Ms. Ruby. She is her own unique person...and Mike and I are both so smitten.

Did I mention I think she's a little beauty?

November 25 ~ I Hope He Knows

2011-11-25T22:00:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is my dad's birthday..he would have been 62. I guess that is one thing I've learned; when you lose someone dear, time is marked on their birthday and the day they passed. It still feels really strange that he is gone. I think I reached to call him three times on Thanksgiving to wish him a happy one...

This year I would want him to know how well I am being taken care of by another dad.

Dear Dad,

I hope you know that this summer when I got a speeding ticket while caravanning to McCall, Idaho, Mike's dad drove me the rest of the way and made some judgements about the police officer just to make me feel better (even though it was my fault and I knew it).

I hope you know that this summer when I was nesting, Mike's dad came over at my request to fix a lot of things that were broken.

I hope you know that when I was 38 weeks pregnant, Mike's dad called to tell me he was sending their house cleaner over to clean my house - - because he didn't want me to work too hard in my state.

I hope you know that I get out of the blue phone calls from Mike's dad just asking how I am doing.

I hope you know that when I got a flat tire two days ago, Mike's dad came to pick up my van and take it to Les Schwabs. Two days later, he saved the day again when he took it to the tire shop and purchased me four much needed NEW tires and had it detailed. He gave me a bit of a hard time for not having any gas in it when he took it from me...but you would have done the same...it must be a "dad thing".

He and you might get a laugh out of the fact that sometimes I lose my keys or get places late or ..... but I know that when I do silly things like that, it doesn't really matter because I had your heart and I have his too.

How did I get so blessed to have been given the dad that I needed then and the dad that I need now?

Well, Dad you BOTH have my heart for now and forever.

You don't have to worry about me...but you knew that already didn't you?

Love, Rose

Dear Mike,

Thanks for taking such great care of me!

Stefanie Christine

November 26 ~ Creative Exercise

2011-11-25T14:40:00.000-08:00

In our wonderful green northwest, the indoor months can be quite lengthy. What I mean is kids and adults get cabin fever often!

There are just so many art projects and movies and toys to play with and then a mom has to get creative. So, we resort to obstacle courses around here. I've gotten pretty good at constructing really fun ones too. We like to turn on the dance music for extra excitement and motivation to move fast. Sometimes they even keep track of how many times they have gone around with playing cards or little toys. Then it becomes a competition...and don't all kids love to win?!!

Last year around this time, Becca and I must have done a kid swap and Tobin, Jabe and Phoebe had a blast with our obstacle course antics:) Great for gettin' wiggles out:)

November 24 ~ Happy Thanksgiving Everyone

2011-11-24T11:22:00.001-08:00

Thanks to my sister, Lesley and my sis-in-law, Meghann for purchasing me a groupon at Yuen Lui last spring!

I got this beautiful picture out of the deal - 1 8x10, 2 3x5's, 6 wallets and one digital photo.

I'm tempted to use it for my Christmas card, but Henry has changed so much since we did this session.

Today I am most thankful for these four babies in my life...

November 23 ~ Stow-aways

2011-11-23T17:05:00.000-08:00

Here are those lyrics hinted at in the last post:

Home, home on the range
Where Daddy and Henry hunt bucks
Where we hide on plateaus with our scopes and bino's
And we wait for those big bucks to show

Repeat til baby stops crying....

November 22 - Lost and Found

2011-11-22T20:40:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I lost all the pictures on my computer due to a nasty virus. Are you familiar with the term "depths of despair"? That's how I felt. Today the computer guy in town, victoriously cleaned my computer and salvaged all my files. And my heart soared. I'm sure you've felt that way before too; when something very special to you was lost and the hope to find it was a dismal at best....and then there was a minor miracle and you FOUND that special item. I felt like celebrating and I definitely looked at all my pictures again - happy for each one of them retrieved.

There were Disneyland pictures, summer at the lake pictures, birthday party pictures, delivery pictures, newborn pictures and Thanksgiving and Christmas last year too. All day yesterday I kept telling myself, "you have your memories still and your blogged pictures too".."it's not the end of the world Stefanie". Self-talk helps. All those things were true and yet I still wouldn't let go of the possibility that I would get them back.

I don't think you've seen these ones of Henry. He looks so tiny in them now. I can't believe how he's grown. At 2 months he had gained about 7 lbs since birth, and he hasn't slowed down. He is smiling a lot and tries to babble, but it seems like the girls were much better at getting the coos out. He just started sleeping through the night (do I dare even write that in fear that it doesn't stay that way for long?) He loves his swing the best out of all sleeping spots. When he is awake he doesn't love to be on the ground on his blanket for long. I still hold him a lot, and sometimes I even manage to rock him and do my computer job at the same time. He looks a LOT like his daddy now. And his favorite song is Home on The Range - although Mike changed the words to include hunting terms. Who can blame the guy who's been putting up with Barbie movies and ballet performances for many years? The girls love on him and fight over him all day long. It's a wonderful problem to have as a mother. I'm so thankful I could give them a baby to ooh and ahh over. We love him so much!

November 21 - To Have and To Hold

2011-11-21T13:20:00.000-08:00

Mike and I returned from our weekend getaway yesterday afternoon. And it really was a get-a-way. We shut the entire world out - even the view of the outside at times. I know it's just the time and place of our life right now, but when we get some kid-free time, we don't really want to do anything. So we watched 3 movies, made food in, read our books, held Henry, sat on the deck and watched the river run by...you get the picture. Yes, and that is why today is a bit of a reality thumper!

I have a few pictures to show you of our time at the beach, but today, I scanned a couple of our 13 year old wedding photos into the computer so that you can glimpse a bit of our wedding day! It's funny how finally when I look at these now, I can see a big difference in what we look like today.

As I wrote my title today, I realized something. For the past eight years, Mike has graciously and thankfully allowed me to hold my babies more than him (in a literal and figurative way). He knows and I know that this is the way it is meant to be - they need me! But as I have mourned the fact that I will never be pregnant again or deliver another new life into this world, I find comfort in that Mike will eventually begin to have and hold me again more.

Whenever I get sad I try to turn it around and be enthused about birthing a NEW body for myself and a new chapter in our lives. Oh, I know, I have a few more years of young kiddos around here. And I am so glad for that! Henry is totally spoiled because I pick him up whenever he cries and snuggle him dearly.

But this past weekend and today, I celebrate the wife in me - the one I want to be for him, for me, and for the little girls in my life watching me oh so closely.

November 20 ~ Mermaid Turkey

2011-11-20T18:51:00.000-08:00

The home work assignment was to give Maisie's turkey a "disguise" - so the farmer wouldn't kill it for Thanksgiving dinner. We decided on a mermaid disguise. From what I gather the staff liked ours the best! What do you think?

November 18th - A Must Try

2011-11-18T06:33:00.000-08:00

Winco carries these cocoas seasonally. I have used the candy cane one a couple times for moms group. It's divine. Make it with milk, not hot water if you want it to pass over to the divine.

I hadn't ever seen or tried the pumpkin spice, but picked it up this week for our November meeting. I gave it a whirl this morning (just to make sure it tasted good - that's code for just wanting to drink some) and it was an autumn divine. I added a splash of coffee since it was 4:45am and all.

If you are entertaining for the holidays...pick these up for sure!

(ps...i'm thinking about having a pajama open house here for my neighbors...home made waffles and yummy drinks...does that sound so great? if only I could order snow for the occasion. i watched a you tube video about how the pottery barn crew transformed an old house for their catalog this year...and they used fake snow. i won't be doing that...but it was quite interesting...and now i'm just rambling..)

November 17 ~ Raincoat Revisited

2011-11-17T09:03:00.000-08:00

When I first started blogging, Daphne had just turned four and Maisie was about to turn two. I can't believe I've been at this for four years now! (best decision ever btw...I now have 4 years of parenting recorded!)

If you have been following me that long, you may remember a post about a cute little raincoat that I bought for Daphne's first field trip. It was a spendy one - but the only one I could find in town. I barely justified it by knowing Maisie would wear it and I think I must have been pregnant enough with Ruby by then to have known she was a girl:).

Well, I don't remember Maisie ever wearing it...can't say if it was because of her issues with clothes OR because I forgot to pull it out. As much as it rains here, it seems like their other coats do fine for the short sprints out of the car to our destinations.

Yesterday the long ago purchase paid off again when Ruby wore the little raincoat. She loves fashion and was so excited about her attire.

Here are pictures of Daphne from 4 years ago and Ruby yesterday:

Do you just want to squeeze that little girl or what? Oh my golly! I love her smiles so much.

November 16 - A Big Fall

2011-11-16T18:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Mike called and I asked him how his day was going. He said he was very thankful. I had a moment where I was anticipating something big and exciting. Then, he proceeded to share how he had just fallen off a roof and was spared serious injury.

He is pretty scraped up, but nothing is broken and he seems to be talking normal too:) Praise God!

I'm so thankful for my husband. He works really long and hard hours. His alarm goes off at 4am and he usually isn't home until 6pm or later. When he gets home he has at least an hour of paper work to complete. And we are lucky if he gets Sunday off. Hopefully it won't always have to be this way ... it's hard on us all - especially him.

This weekend we get to escape to the beach to celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary. We aren't going to do anything but watch movies, eat, sleep, and watch movies! Relaxation awaits...

November 15: Play dates

2011-11-15T08:46:00.001-08:00

Here is what came out of my cousin play dates last week:

Thanks for letting us bombard your nice clean homes girls...and leave them less clean on our way out.

The Day After

2011-11-14T15:47:00.000-08:00

Today I have been so tired. I have been fairly unproductive and a step behind in everything we set out to do. Daphne was 1 minute late to school, Maisie was 2 minutes late to school, picked up the girls 2 minutes late at the end of their day, I haven't showered (don't tell my husband, he thinks that's gross!), and I've gone thru the day giving up on the things on my list, rather than checking them off my list.

Does that happen to you after you have a big project, activity, etc? It seems the excitement and adrenalin always keeps me going and then afterward I plummet.

I'm not being negative. I'm just being observant. And trying to rally through the rest of my day too, without having a cup of coffee.

Here is what I haven't accomplished today and not surprising the thorns in my side every day:

treadmill workout
2 hrs of internet job
folding and putting away HUGE pile of laundry

Here is what I have done:

invited the neighbor girl over to play when Ruby asked...helped them with their dress up clothes and hair-do's

breastfed, burped, changed, rocked 2 month old Henry (REPEAT 4x)

helped make a turkey into a cute mermaid for Maisie's family homework project

made meals and snacks for kids

held M when she got hurt 3x today (one was hurt feelings)

dishes

20 minute nap

There's always tomorrow.

November 13 - Pure Entertainment

2011-11-13T20:09:00.000-08:00

I had a wonderful weekend. I hosted a baby shower here for my dear friend and neighbor. Everything fell into place. Mike took the girls all day on Saturday and I had so much fun cleaning. I even rented a carpet cleaner from Lowe's. Side note***I may just sing out loud while listening to Daphne's ipod...teener bopper songs and show tunes and praise music. More on that later.

There's nothing quite like being able to have girlfriends over when my house sparkles and is decked out for party. It brings me joy.

Now if I can keep it this way for a couple of weeks, I'll be all ready to decorate for Christmas.

Dear Santa (Mike),

2011-11-12T10:49:00.000-08:00

Mike and I usually don't get each other gifts at Christmas. And it's been a few years since I've bought the girls coordinating Christmas outfits...

It's just wishing, but maybe we could eat pancakes for breakfast all month and buy the girls these dresses this year??? Puppy eyes.

Mostly, I needed a blog post today - enjoy this picture:

hanna andersson - 46.50

November 11 - Archives

2011-11-11T05:29:00.000-08:00

I found these pictures the other night. I believe I blogged them years ago. I went to bed feeling depressed.

How does time go by so fast? It didn't matter when I was in high school or college or teaching. But I love THESE years. Yes, they are hard - always tired, always trying to be more efficient and patient...but this is my once in a lifetime moment of raising my babies.

Look how they've grown.

On a funnier note...look how skinny I was...that depressed me too. However, I cannot make my children stop getting older, but I CAN work towards my old body:)

We are Family!

2011-11-10T07:20:00.000-08:00

Daphne and Maisie are off school for two days in a row, so I've scheduled LONG overdue play dates with two of my best friends, Becca and Jill, and their children...my nieces and nephews.

Today we are off to Becca's - I'm bringing you your favorite coffee Dear One - so text me your current favorite.

Tomorrow we are off to Jill's - ditto to you...but I'm gonna guess 12oz Hazelnut Latte??!!! Or Toffee Nut?

I miss them horribly and I've threatened my children to dare not get sick, because it's been 6 weeks since I've seen Becca and 8 since I've seen Jill.

Last Spring we had a fun "Camp Riddle" extravaganza here and I got a few fun pics of the kids together. They are a lot we are so proud of, since it started with just Elsa, Tobin and Daphne back in 2003 and NOW we have 10 all together. No wonder we never see each other anymore:)

November 9 - A Different Number Game

2011-11-09T06:42:00.000-08:00

Shortly after birth I had a "moment" that made me chuckle. I had a dentist appointment when Henry was around 3 weeks old. It was going to be a long one, so I arranged that a friend would watch Maisie and Ruby that morning. Then Daphne woke up with a funny reaction on her face, so we kept her home. Not knowing what was going on with D, I decided to keep her with me during the appointment and figured she could help with Henry if he got upset.

So as I drove away from my friends that am, a new realization HIT.... I had just dropped off two of my kids....but I still had two kids with me. It was like, wow, we have a lot of children:) ...a great feeling, but a funny thought.

Those moments keep occurring....another time, Mike took Ruby and Daphne to work with him on a Saturday. I believe Maisie wasn't feeling well. When he got home he asked if that had helped me a lot. And it HAD, but let's face it..I still had two at home with me. I guess it's just our new reality - a new normal.

This weekend, Mike was sick so he kept Rubes and Maisie home from church with him, and I took Daphne and Henry with me. (do you see all the different combinations we can make now..ha!)

Here are some good pics of my charges:

I have to add that it's a blessing to have such a hands-on daddy to our children and such involved grandparents, because even though it would be hard for me to give all 4 of them enough attention...with this team I have, the kids are indeed LOVED to the brim!

November 8 - This sweet sight...

2011-11-08T06:58:00.000-08:00

if I was writing a list of gratitude...this would definitely be on it many days...

"three little girls sharing a room...three little beds made just slightly disheveled by their young owners...beautiful girl bedding with colors that meld sweetly...three little girls that love to sleep together and whom are now afraid to sleep without each other..."

the only better picture is one that is happening more and more lately when Mike and I go to peek at them right before we head to bed...

"three little girls ASLEEP IN one of those three beds...heads nestled up tightly..legs entangled over each other" (my guess is that some littlest sister must of been scared of "bears coming to eat me mommy" and snuck in with her big sister, and then the third sister couldn't bear being left out)

it doesn't quite resemble a pottery barn kids catalog but it's EVEN better because it's mine

November 7: A Sunday Walk

2011-11-07T12:09:00.000-08:00

The author of the book I've been reading is the wife of a farmer, in Mennonite country up in Canada. So, I've been enjoying and coveting her life and the life her kids get to enjoy....one of barn chores before breakfast, her husband the "Farmer" coming in for breakfast after feeding 600 sows, harvest days, and even her homeschooling environment.

I have to be careful that I don't desire HER life, but the life the Lord has in store for me and mine.

But anyway, yesterday Mike and I took the kids and dog for a great walk at a nearby and yet fairly unknown park in the woods. Gus got to be off-leash (shhh!) and girls got to tromp and run over leaf covered paths. The brilliant fall sun burst in here and there through hundred year old trees. I took up the caboose and snapped away.
It made me realize that although my kids attend public school, and live in a small city complete with 2 McDonalds, a Starbucks and movie theater...we are fortunate to have many outdoor opportunities available too.

We can create the family climate we want in our own little way. We all decided that this would be our new Sunday afternoon routine!

SOOOOO Fruur strated

2011-11-06T20:57:00.000-08:00

I'm trying my best to blog for ya'll everyday this month and I'm having a computer mystery. It bites. Especially since most people can let things like this go and move on. But I sit here beating my head up against a concrete wall wasting valuable time. I'm supposed to be tallying my work hours for the job that actually pays hard cash (blogging unfortunately does not) - or even folding piles of laundry or doing the dishes. Heck, I didn't even tuck in my kids tonight (okay okay - their daddy did!)

But oh, no...I'm sitting here unable to figure this out.

HELP! See if I go to www.blogspot.com then I can post - but only once in a blue moon does it let me view my blog. And again, once in a blue moon can I visit YOUR blogs.

I can visit and meander on any other website mind you...but when I try to go to blogger sites, I get a "Your connection has timed out" annoying message with that yellow triangle deally...

I WAS going to blog about our beautiful walk today...but now I'm just plain tuckered out and don't want to bother.

But just so I don't go to bed without leaving you some sort of positive gift...here's a pic already downloaded.

I'd rather rant and rave and hope that maybe one of you knows what's going on!

Okay, now that I've chosen that picture and viewed it again..I feel a wee little bit better about calling it a day. I mean, how can you not smile at the fact that I have a little boy in my life now???

November 5

2011-11-05T15:53:00.000-07:00

sisters...

i'm often thankful of what these three share...

they fight...A LOT...

but they LOVE and CARE and GIGGLE too...

they share so much and I hope they always hold those memories and sameness dear...

praise upward for these

sisters...

November 4th

2011-11-04T23:05:00.000-07:00

Cutest pumpkin at the patch this year!

November 3

2011-11-03T12:52:00.001-07:00

this three year old's pure and sheer JOY on halloween night...running from house to house...and stopping each time to come show us what treat she was given

i can't guarantee that next year she will feel as excited and that her eyes will light up quite the same...

but in that moment I chose to be completely IN LOVE with my Ruby

November 2

2011-11-03T12:49:00.001-07:00

one of those fleeting moments, the camera catches what is NOT fleeting - the love a certain Grandpa has for a certain granddaughter

November 1st

2011-11-03T12:45:00.000-07:00

a favorite spot...a most loved mother...loving her newest grandbaby

not posed...a weekend I want to remember

for all this I thank Him

A New Perspective

2011-11-03T12:14:00.000-07:00

A dear friend gave me the best present two weeks ago. It's a life changing book called, One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp.

I'm only four chapters in so far, but I have also started receiving her new posts at her blog A Holy Experience ~ http://www.aholyexperience.com/ . I don't feel ready to give a book report of sorts but I know enough to say this woman is not only one of the most talented writers I have ever read, but God has used her life changing thoughts to stir my soul.

The best way I can describe it is this:

I feel as though some gentle hand has come up behind me and nudged me in a tiny different direction. I'm still living the same life on the same road but it doesn't feel so hard and oppressive. In her words, the book is a "dare to live fully right where you are"...and so that is where I am. One way the author began finding ways to be more thankful and directing that thanks to the rightful spot - the Creator of all things...was to begin a grateful list. There's so much more but you'll have to check it out yourself.

Because this is November and some bloggers choose to blog daily in November (and I'm behind) I thought I would fight the urge to blog in my old fashioned way. You know the mom's blogging to-do list...pumpkin patch pics, kids in costumes, milestones, funny things they say, holiday gift ideas, etc etc. It feels undone whenever I leave these things out. But instead I'm going to begin documenting some of my daily thankful things here.

Sweet Generosity

2011-10-30T21:20:00.001-07:00

Tonight Ruby took one of her most prized possessions - a dollar bill from her Great Grandpa - and cut it in half. She presented one half to her daddy proudly saying, "Now you can have a dollar too daddy".

Now, I know there is some sort of lesson in this story for us all, but I am so tired, and am choosing to just see it as the cutest, sweetest acts of innocence that I can remember in awhile.

Sweet Ruby.

I want this!

2011-10-19T23:03:00.000-07:00

I could write a long text about my perfectionism and how it doesn't meld well with being a mom of young children. I'm in the process of trying again to find a good balance of the following:

a. Teaching kids to pick up after themselves, when I'm not that good at it either.

b. Taking back parts of my house for my own sanity. Allowing them to have freedom in their spaces too.

c. Simplifying but not knowing exactly how much.

d. Not nagging, nagging, nagging.

It's coming together at the right time. They are ready for more responsibility and I need the help.

But, the quote above is putting all my inner turmoil back into perspective tonight. I think I need it hanging on my front door.

Or if I'm honest with myself I need it written across my heart, so I can calm down, and remember like that country song says...

"Let them be little...for they're only that way for awhile..."

Newborn days...

2011-10-08T23:18:00.001-07:00

What can I say... I'm in love! We all are. How blessed I am with God's perfect timing! He knew that IF I could wait on Him, that this baby would be born to three little sisters that were old enough to ADORE him and help CARE for him. They also are old enough to help care for themselves at times with certain things too.

Look and enjoy, cuz he is changing and growing at lightning speed:)

My Maisie

2011-10-08T22:17:00.000-07:00

This September was full of milestones and celebrations in our family. The month came to a brilliant close with our Maisie's birthday. It's hard to believe it was her 6th one. I can't believe it!

We are so proud of her for so many reasons. She is attending kindergarten everyday with no problems. It seems she has gotten over the separation anxiety she displayed throughout her preschool years. Phew. She loves doing homework. Phew. She comes home with more stories about school than Daphne - her perspective on the rules and school goings ons is adorable. She is doing better (not perfect - who is?) with her issues with clothes/socks/shoes. PHEW.

Speaking of clothes/socks/shoes...proof of her progress is that she is wearing soccer attire complete with cleats and shin guards and a pony tail three times a week. But the best part about soccer is that she ENJOYS it and is really good too. It is amazingly redeeming to watch her have success at something and to look into her future and see bright talent.

Being the second child isn't always easy.

Being a mom to children with distinctively different personalities isn't either.

And when things haven't always been easy and then they begin to change...well, positive changes feel all that more glorious. GLORY must be given to the Someone who gave our family Maisie 6 years ago. She is loved by MANY around here.

Here are some pictures from her "Candy Land themed party" and a couple soccer pictures thrown in there too:

I barely could stand after making this cake, cleaning the house, and making the game for this party at 3 weeks post delivery...Did I forget to say that we had 15 here girls and I told their parents to just drop em off?!! A little crazy of me to take this on, but Mike helped A LOT and my Aunt Kathie and Mom came and stayed the duration too. Three teachers and a school secretary can handle that no problem.

Morning Surprise

2011-10-03T16:27:00.000-07:00

You know you are sleep deprived when....

you wake up and realize that you have been sleeping on a dirty diaper (at least it was dirty side down on the sheets).

and life went on...

2011-09-20T10:25:00.000-07:00

Every mom that has more than one child knows that the second and subsequent births are different than the first. You may want to just sit on your rocking chair with your newborn all day and nap whenever they nod off to sleep...but that isn't possible anymore.

I even had help so that I could do those above things for awhile, but even then, life went on around me. The girls still had to start school...Daphne's birthday needed grand celebrating on the 7th with treats delivered to school and last minute presents bought...doctor appointments for Henry and I had to be scheduled and attended...and unplanned things occurred too - like Maisie coming down with poison oak:(

I considered calling this post "layers" because that's how I pictured our first weeks with Henry. I was bursting with emotions of new love for my baby, joy over his birth and occasional sadness and nervousness undirected, the girls' needs still needed to be met and yet included in welcoming Henry, and the household chores never stopped. Then there were the visitors and helpful meals. And the expected and unexpected moments when Mike and grandparents swooped in and left me all alone with Henry to reflect on all the above.

Oh yes, and another layer could be night time feedings...so tiring and yet wonderful alone time with Henry!

What a busy and memorable time for us!

The best hours of my life...

2011-09-18T11:56:00.000-07:00

I never did finish blogging all that was on my heart before Henry's arrival. That dumb to-do list kept me hopping. And I did get the house almost completely clean...and almost all the cluttery areas uncluttered...and special last moments with my girls and Mike too. I went to bed at 11pm on August 31st feeling pretty ready. In hindsight I wish I would have slowed down just a tiny bit to sit and just pray more. I did pray about his health and my health and the girls and the grandparents etc. I just didn't pray about how I would handle this last birth. But then again, God already knew and had me in His hands.

I have so many things brewing in my soul right now I could burst and it's hard to choose what to share publicly and what to reserve only for Henry's baby book. Around two weeks after my babies are born I always pour out every detail of their birth story into a word document, more for my memory keeping than anything else. I know that at least my girls will appreciate my elaborate records someday when they are ready to start their families.

Today I'll share with you some thoughts on something I can barely put into words. But I think you will get it. It heeds way back to a memory of me running in our neighborhood a few years after Mike and I was married. I was ready to have babies, but Mike wasn't quite there yet. That was okay though, I remember thinking the longer we waited the better it would be when the time came and the longer we waited the longer I could prolong the inevitable day when I would be done having children. It was a fleeting thought...just a foreshadowing.

And now back to the morning of September 1st. (I'm already not putting this into words the way I would like to) Mike and I were off to the hospital at 5:15am and like tradition we stopped before the double doors to pray for the events ahead of us. I was already teary. I had been the days leading up to this day. Soon enough I was being prepped for surgery and my care providers started arriving too. I was blessed to have my doctor, my midwife and my former midwife, who has since moved cities and practices, all there with me that morning. She took all the following wonderful pictures.

Ugg...where am I going with this story? What do I want you to know? I guess that the C-Section went off fabulously. It was full of excitement and wonder and me trying to freeze time through out the whole process. Henry was healthy and beautiful and so much tinier than we had imagined. Mike was walking on air as he watched every part of the procedure and took care of his son after he arrived. I did my best to focus on everything despite the drugs in my system. Thank goodness for the pictures.

He got to stay with me the entire time - Henry that is...and Mike! And the girls and the grandparents were waiting in the wings to see him as soon as possible. Their first moments with him were so joyful. I was in heaven.

Those first moments when I got to meet my babies have been the most divine, special, happy moments in my life. I wish I could relive them again and again. The difference this time was that I knew that this was the last time. It seems strange that something could go so perfectly and feel so complete and yet want to do it again. I actually woke up the next day wishing I was still pregnant and could do it again. And yet, you can't hold onto time...you have to go forward.

Since then I've been grieving the end of my pregnancies, delivery days, last appointments, final baby showers etc etc. Hormones going wild first contributed to lots of tears (and later to itchy hives -yuck) And yet, life has gone on somewhat normal AND very busy here too - school days, and birthdays, and dishes, and laundry (lots of it!) and we are doing so well.

Henry is in my arms as much as possible. I'm so glad we decided to have a fourth baby. It feels so right. I'll write more later and show more pictures too.

This post is dedicated to Mike, Mike Sr and Pam, and my mom who all have helped so much in the last two weeks. They gave me time alone with my last baby in his first days and precious time to recover, which is worth more than anything in the world. But especially my husband who understood and hugged me every time emotions overwhelmed me. I'm so thankful that even though my children will grow up and leave me someday, he will always be by my side.

Bit O' Henry

2011-09-02T20:34:00.000-07:00

(Guest Post by Auntie Becca)

Big time Auntie gushing about to happen. I'm in love and I don't care who knows it. His name is Henry Wayne, and he's completely and utterly breathtakingly perfect. Here's proof.

Henry Wayne Riddle

September 1st 2011, 8:06 am

6 lbs 14 oz

19 1/2 inches

Me feeling that soft little baby calf. . .

and patting that nothing little bottom.

new little eyes

Tiny toes.

Little belly

His little head with his daddy's big hand.

Proud daddy!

His namesake and his Grandpa.

The most darling eyelashes.

Welcome to the world our little Grand Finale!

The Perfect Summer Evening

2011-08-27T14:58:00.000-07:00

We decided to have a early birthday party for Daphne this year for obvious reasons. We rented an outdoor community pool near us for an hour. It turned out just perfect. We asked that parents accompany their kids to this one so that I would feel like everyone was super safe. Because of that it turned into more of a family affair for all.

Daphne was in heaven! So many friends....smurf cake....and lots of water wonder.

Catching Up...(Parade Day)

2011-08-26T16:55:00.001-07:00

I have 5 days until D-Day...and chores left unfinished. One is to finish journaling about our Summer '11 on my blog.

Don't be surprised if you see one per day until the birth:) I'm super anal about my to-do lists when I am nesting. Yes...organizing the spice cupboard IS on my master list. Call me whacky or just hormonal.

These pictures are some of the best taken back at the end of July when we went to my hometown's parade. It was so HOT...it was both fun and very uncomfortable for me.

The behind story of that day was that we bug bombed (for those pesty fleas) while I took the girls to the parade and Mike went golfing. After the parade, my sister and mom and I took all seven cousins to McDonalds for lunch. I still wasn't sure it was safe to go back into house, so then I took the girls swimming. (thanks mom for your help opening the house up for me) Then we came home, got Daphne packed for a slumber party. Finally we ended the night at some friends' house for a bbq. Let's just say I was ready for bed after the parade....so this goes down as one of the most tiring days of the entire summer FOR SURE!!!

My Baby Shower

2011-08-19T19:11:00.001-07:00

I had the most beautiful double shower 2 weeks ago, hosted by my very talented and sweet sister in law!

She did the cutest theme with nests. Our invites had two little eggs in the nest and the decor included flowers, branches, bird cages, bird pictures, and of course nests! We sat on her very shaded and quaint back porch. Jill and I side by side in a double bench. It was the perfect setting....like a "Pollyanna"sort of afternoon if you've seen and love that movie like me.

It was a family shower and since we are cousins (in law) there were guests for me, guests for her, and guests whom we shared. But we all know each other fairly well anyways so the conversation was intimate and the mood was very very celebratory and for me and Jill, I think it was a bit emotional. We had our first babies just 3 weeks apart, and now to be wrapping up our families side by side...well, let's just say it's a God Thing! We know it and we feel blessed...throw some pregnancy hormones in there and I think her and I could have cried a few times that day:)

I should have posted this before the nursery reveal, because I referenced it a couple times, but my ducks are always in a gaggle of chaos and never in that row that some people are always striving for (me included).

So here you will see the lot of shoes from Kathi, and me receiving Jill's quilt too. Daphne was in attendance, which was special. You will see her eating the blueberry cobbler that Becca creatively presented in canning jars. Also notice the names of our babies, written in chalk on the siding of Becca's house.... Henry and Amelia...don't they sound straight out of a Jane Eyre novel?

I have had a lot of showers through my pregnancies, and I've loved them all. I think it's because this is for sure my last baby, but it took me by surprise how much this particular moment in time touched me and how I'm beginning to be sad that this pregnancy is coming to a close. I'll write more on those thoughts later...

To Becca - thank you! And to all the ladies who came and "showered us" - what can I say...I'm blessed to have each one of you in my life!

My first baby boy nursery...

2011-08-18T21:08:00.000-07:00

After lots of hard work, it's such a fun reward for me to show you the nursery! Who knew that switching Ruby's gender neutral room, with the same bedding, and a few tweaks here and there would take so many hours to put together? But like I said...it was all worth it. Until he is old enough to begin destroying his room like kids eventually do...I shall walk past it and stop and stare and smile..because it is for sure the cutest room in the house!

Can you tell how tiny that little onesie is??

We'll be calling him Henry at first most likely...
but this is a four post hanger...perfect for Ruby and Hank too:)

Isn't it only fitting that his bedroom is the only one in the house with a view of our neighborhood cows? :)

My grandma rocked her five babies in this exact chair! When I had Daphne she had the wicker re-caned (sp?) and gave it to me as a gift. What a joy it will be for me to say I rocked all four of mine in it too!!

At my shower my cousin Jill's mom, Kathi blessed us with I think five pairs of the cutest baby boy shoes ever! With a few hand me down pairs and a couple other gifts, I think this son of mine has more shoes than his sisters did as an infant. Don't tell the girls!

I like to stare at this too...it probably won't stay so organized.

Jill, who is having her baby girl the very day before our baby is set to arrive...made this cute quilt for him and I!!! Can you believe my surprise that she was able to summon up the energy for such a labor of love?? Love you Jill!

The girls are already arranging his toys...Maisie was tickled that the horse was riding the duck!

Be still my heart....

Major Victory

2011-08-08T10:20:00.000-07:00

Today Maisie and Daphne were scheduled to go to VBS. Maisie hasn't really been keen on the idea, but I was set on getting her there somehow. One of her bestest preschool friends would be in her group and I knew I wanted her to at least TRY it.

Well, last night she was in tears at the idea. And Daphne and I both woke up feeling really sick, so I easily gave up. She didn't want to go to begin with and if Daphne wouldn't be there, then forget it.

But then 15 min before VBS would be starting her and Ruby were busy playing and fighting over Henry's new car seat. She started to whine about the day and how she was going to be bored. So I just said, "Well, I'm probably going to be sitting in this chair all day, but you have the opportunity to go do something really FUN at VBS or make your own fun here." To my surprise she quickly decided she wanted to go!

We got ready in 10 minutes and were out the door. I was so tickled by her sudden change in enthusiasm. Of course once there it took some major mom encouragement and I had to stay awhile til she was able to let go of me. But with the promise of a trip to see Smurfs at the end of the week (if she goes all 4 days) ... we both had something to look forward to!

She did it! And I cried a lot of proud tears in the van on the way home. Maisie is really making huge strides this summer. Mike and I are over the moon about this little girl in our lives.

Too Lazy for Pictures

2011-08-02T08:54:00.000-07:00

I always feel like blogging our life, but the step of downloading the pictures makes me procrastinate.

So here's an update on our life sin photos:( But someday I'll want to remember these trivial notes on Summer '11.

In no particular order...(I just love no one is grading me on my blogging compositions!!)

1. Cleaning the house is going really well - very slow - but it is getting done gradually. It is a shame that the cleaning I did in June will need re-cleaning by the time the baby comes! Seriously though, a few weeks ago I was feeling super anxious about the tasks and the limited time..but God intervened with a huge PEACE about it all. Plus He keeps sending angels my way out of the blue whom take the girls for a short amount of time here and there and that is how anything is getting done. Thank you most recently to Gpa Mike, Gma Julie, Beth, and the winner is definitely my hubby Mike!

2. To piggy back on #1, it really is tricky "nesting" when you have three kids and it's summer so none of them are in school. But the angels above and the supernatural peace I referred to, have allowed me to compartmentalize the preparations and the daily summer fun! We have been having numerous play dates, visits with family, and swimming/swimming/swimming at a local OUTDOOR pool we joined this summer. The best is when we finish and the local ice cream cart is sitting waiting for the kids. I live vicariously through them as they choose their artificial flavored treat.

3. On that note - my girls and I are TAN! Maisie has the cutest tan lines from her tankini...she wins the bronze award for sure. They are such water babies.

4. The girls and I set up the baby's crib the other day...we rocked out to our fun "It's My Party" cd with oldies like, "Rockin' Robin" and "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini"...and accomplished our goal. The crib was cleaned and assembled and I seriously couldn't have done it without their help. I love including them this time.

5. On a frustrating note - we have mice in the garage and fleas in the house. First time EVER in this house...right before I give birth...seems unfair, right? I may have to ask Mike for an exterminator for my baby shower gift.

6. I'm sick of having to prick my finger twice a day for months on end now to check my blood sugar. I just wish I could eat what I want and enjoy all the sweets of the summer. Praying that I won't have to deal with it after the baby comes:(

7. Last but not least, a little guy named HENRY is on my mind. What shall his middle name be?

These are the ideas so far: Tate, Greer, Cook, McCall, Michael, James. Too bad we won't be having any more boys to use them all up!

Letters

2011-07-17T15:39:00.000-07:00

I grew up with my parents ending certain conversations with one of these statements:

"I'm gonna write them a letter!"

"You oughta write them a letter..."

"I may just write them a letter..."

Those letters may have had the purpose of expressing frustrations or praise. I'm not sure how often they actually followed through with their intentions...but it still became ingrained in my brain.

Do you remember my post titled, "Just Shoot Me" ? You know...the one about how I returned video rentals to the wrong video rental store. Well, I was so frustrated with myself, but also so pleased with my blog version of the story...that I decided to ask for some grace.

I printed my blog post and added an explanation and plea, saying it was an innocent mistake and how I would be so pleased if they would remove any fees involved. I folded the letter and placed it in their return slot.

Then a month or so passed. I forgot about the letter.

We visited the above mentioned store on Friday evening and when I reached the check-out desk, she read a note on my account. It said that since I had gone to all that effort to write them, they had removed my late fees. Yay - it paid off! And don't you know I will rent from them again and again...so hopefully it paid off for them too. That is why I remain a local video store renter and not a netflix, cable, or red box user. I really am a dinosaur in that area...and I have a whole blog post composed in my head about that subject completely.

Well anyways, I made ground a little bit financially with my letter in that situation, but my pregnant brain continues to do damage. I received my first speeding ticket on my way to McCall a few weeks ago. So now I'm up 5 or 6 bucks at the video rental store and in the red 300.00 for speeding.

Maybe another letter is the remedy? Or maybe I'll just pay up and know I learned a good lesson.

Puddle

2011-07-14T17:11:00.001-07:00

Today I walked into Mike's office to grab something and I found this sitting on his computer.

For many reasons today, this warmed my heart.

Joy in 3's

2011-07-12T19:33:00.000-07:00

How much longer will I be able to dress them exactly alike? As I washed the girls' matching July 4th outfits tonight, it occurred to me that those days are probably numbered. Maybe one or two more years? And that's only because Daphne is so amicable.

This is the second year in a row that Pam has bought them matching attire for the 4th. Once again we started the evening's festivities with our favorite ice cream shop - "Ice Cream Alley". There's always a huge line that evening, so while Mike and Pam held our spot in the "queue" and Mike Sr held our spot lakeside, I took the girls for a little photo shoot.

And that is where my title comes into play...JOY. Pure joy, I tell ya. Those three girls in matching outfits, whom all LOVE to pose...my pregnant hormonal heart could have just burst. For a moment the fact that they can be demanding, whiny, and testers of my patience in daily life was forgotten and they were just my pride and joy. Not to mention that their outfits screamed patriotism and pure American summer fun...forget it for this sentimental soul.

God Bless America and my three sweethearts!

S.L.O.W.I.N.G....down

2011-06-29T08:28:00.000-07:00

How do you SLOW down when there's still so much to be done, and your kids and your social life is used to FAST...and yet..your body is saying STOP?!

I have SO much to blog about, and a few cute pictures to share...but mostly the pictures are in my head, because I haven't done a lot of permanent capturing. It's all in here (I'm pointing to my head and heart right now).

And yet I am really tired these days. I keep trying to tackle huge to do lists so that I can rest, but maybe that will never happen because I can't seem to get through the lists before a new list starts. But some things are behind me, like school days (for awhile), moms group (for awhile), and a recent big garage sale undertaking.ou

If I was brave enough I would ask everyone who was attending a baby shower for me, to instead come help me plow through piles here. BUT then again...please don't show up at my door, cause I never would honestly let you IN.

Mike and Daphne are gone for a week and I am doing the single parent show. I don't know how women out there do it - seriously! By the time we get to bed time, I can almost taste the freedom and it is so needed that I get really cranky. Although, I have suffered through crankiness in the late afternoon in hopes of wearing them out for an early bedtime - that rarely works here. Even yesterday they were BEAT, and I laid them down at 7pm..but don't think the last one retired til 8:15pm.

M got up to go potty, to fix her special tent (I was sitting in the hallway playing policewoman), get new books, and lastly to come downstairs, once she realized I was gone to say she was scared and I forgot her song. I was so frustrated that I snapped a lot and I'm not good at always keeping my thoughts in my head. I went up and sang the saddest fastest rendition of Amazing Grace (which felt horrible to ruin that song!) and then came downstairs.

Then GUILT...so I packed up my weary body one more time up the stairs to apologize and she was already asleep. So I woke her up and said, "I'm sorry I was so grumpy honey. I am just SO tired but it was wrong. I love you". She gave me a big neck hug and a sleepy, "That's okay mommy. Now I have to get my rest - I'm so tired". Those were her exact words.

And all was well in the world again.

I'm so glad my kids are so forgiving, because I'm not the mom I want to be right now.

It's on the calendar!

2011-06-15T19:12:00.000-07:00

Today I had the best appointment!

a. I've only gained 10 lbs...

b. I made peace with the decision to have a third c-section vs. VBAC. Everyone is different and God has let me know this is our birth story. The doctor and I had a wonderful conversation.

c. I know my baby boy's birthday and it's September 1st. (5 whole days before school starts which is a huge relief for me!)

d. My family's calendar of special days is set (I guess unless he decides to come early)

e. And then while my mom babysat I went to Starbucks and celebrated with my gestational diabetes special order - a 12 oz soy latte.

Today beat yesterday in leaps and bounds and birthday balloon highs.

Just Shoot Me (okay..not really!)

2011-06-14T18:24:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like you are putting out a ton of effort and it's just not going so well?

I just spent an hour and a half at Winco at peak shopping time with three girls (and one tiny boy in utero). I got home and put everything away (200 dollars worth) and started my dinner with 3 hungry children waiting expectantly.

Then I realized my new recipe calls for a can of corn and that is the one (or maybe there's more) thing I forgot. All four wonderful neighbors have none either. That's okay...cornless Southwest tuna casserole it shall be.

The phone rings and it is one of the video rental places in town. Turns out that I returned my recently rented videos to the wrong store. So although I finally got my movies returned by the due date (I struggle in that area)...they are now late because I dropped them off at the TOTALLY wrong store. What was I thinking?

I give up..but I can't give up...so instead I find my outlet of frustration relief here with you.

Jill...did we really give up desserts for 21 days and was that MY idea??!! Crap.

The rest of the story...

2011-06-12T13:57:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine recently went to Hawaii on a dream trip with her husband and I loved how she returned and journaled thoroughly about each day they had together. I say this because she prefaced it by saying to her readers that they may or may not to read every word of her entries, but in the end her blog is for their family memory keeping and she was doing it not for us but for herself.

I feel the same way a lot of the time. Even Mike will say, "Well, I didn't read the WHOLE thing honey, it was really long". So breeze by the pictures or skim the reflections here...but as I've said before, I personally want to remember the details when I am old and gray, so I just have to be wordy sometimes.

The PRE-TRIP STORY

So going way back now....it was May 10th, and the day before we were to head up to the airport for our trip. It was also the day before my 34th birthday. I was doing my best to get a multitude of things ready, all while taking care of two girls who are always at home with me. I find it tricky to keep them active, engaged, happily interacting, and still get a lick done around here. And I have this 10hr a week job from home...so stupidly I had decided to get up around 4:30am every day that week and try to sneak in 9hrs before we left Wednesday night. You get the picture - running myself ragged and pregnant to boot.

Tuesday afternoon I was feeling so guilty about ignoring the girls that when they asked to join the other kids playing out front I couldn't say no. Somehow the other moms in the neighborhood seem to manage to sit out there for 2 hrs most days while the kids play and I do my best to join them often, but once agaicn there's that tension of my to-do list vs. pure kid driven activities. Tricky, yes?

Here's the visual for you...me, holding my favorite jumbo Starbucks coffee mug, filled with my late afternoon caffeine hopes, my laptop, and my camping fold up chair...following after the girls, stepping over bikes and scooters that have overtaken any pathway in my NEVER clean garage. You can guess the outcome. I fell...breaking my favorite mug, drowning my screen with the liquid that held any remaining chance at productivity, and all in front of my girlfriends who sat chatting in the driveway next to mine. I was as embarrassed as I was frustrated and mad at the damage. One of them came to my rescue and helped me clean the mess. I was in tears and gave up on a lot of my pre-trip expectations all in one fell swoop - or fall.

My computer wouldn't work anyways so no more hours were completed, and by then some damage had really been done on my immune system. That night, despite being out on a pre-planned date with Mike for my birthday, I really began to feel sick with a sore throat. I went to bed late after sitting in my rocking chair and texting a few good friends to pray for me as I sobbed feeling sorry for myself. OH, how I know someday this will seem so trivial, but it felt like a wall that I couldn't climb - pregnancy hormones????

My birthday came the next morning and I was in no shape to celebrate - let alone the time to do so. We managed a quick donut run as a family that am, but then the frantic to-do's began. I had to take Daphne, with the little girls in tow to Salem to complete her passport card process for a missions trip she is taking later this month. It's a good 1hr drive each way. Then she went back to school. I promptly drove to urgent care as I was sure I had strep by that point. Let's just say I worked really hard at that visit, trying to keep the girls amused while we waited for doctor and then the culture, etc etc.

By the time we got home I had just hours to finish laundry, pack, write notes about all the care I had arranged for Ruby and Daphne while I was gone, and maybe leave the house somewhat tidy for Mike (more for my peace of mind - he could care less) I think when Pam came to pick Maisie and me up for our BIG trip, I was mostly ready..posty notes everywhere, finishing up all the clean laundry, dishes done, bags packed and organized well for plane activities, airplane rules...

My sweet mom in law really wanted to go out and have a big dinner somewhere and maybe shop for a new outfit for me - as it was my birthday too, but by then it was like 7-7:30 and my body was DONE. We drove thru A&W and headed to the hotel by the airport. We were in bed by 9pm and then up at 4am for an early flight.

Luckily, with all the preparations of the trip behind me and only the FUN ahead of me, I did my best to ignore that I was sick. I popped any vitamin and drug my midwife allowed and I think I was a trooper. I'm so glad it was two adults on one child because although doing Disneyland is high paced - we were in control of our schedule and got to focus on Maisie alone. Here's some of my other favorite memories of our week with my 5 year old Maisie:

When we got there I was a bit hung over from the anti-anxiety pills I took on the plane. My midwife had okayed them and I gladly popped them:) We had one day to lay around and we chose that day to swim and gear up. And it was a hot hot one...I got scorched. Maisie would have swam vs going to Disneyland everyday probably - she loved it!

Our first night we still wanted a "taste" of Disney - so we strolled Downtown Disney and had dinner at the Rainforest Cafe.

Here's her and Grandma in a fun little store and her first giant treat of many.

I won't lie, Maisie had a fine and dandy tantrum our first minutes in Disneyland. We have found out recently that she has a hard time with sensory integration (another story entirely) and so I new Disneyland would be OVER stimulating. But with some time having passed from our trip I have realized that NO trip with kids isn't remiss some bumps, right? It was quickly defused and we were on our way to the carousel and many many joyful moments.

I think Pam and I were brilliant at manuevering the park - we didn't stand in any huge lines w Mais. We did fast passes or one of us stood in a long line while the other took her somewhere else nearby. With one child you can meet most of their whims and fancies and it feels so good.

She's a thrill seeker for sure, but a fine detail lover also. She went on all the roller coasters multiple times, but also loved the princesses, and rides like Small World. And every time we got off a ride she asked to go on it again immediately.

You may think she wore the same dress the whole trip, but she has a couple of them (part of her sensory issues is tactile and major clothes issues) We couldn't get her to do her hair in fun up-do's or wear a princess gown, but I have a feeling those days will come in the future and she will knock all the boys dead with her figure and blue eyes! Right now she demands a patience from me that I don't come by naturally - but once again this trip was a magical gift from her Grandma to me - because I rarely get my babies one on one.

Our hotel was wonderful. It had these huge fish tanks that seemed to soothe her. She loved to check em out everytime we headed out to our shuttle.

Although I DO believe if you can only afford/manage ONE family trip to Disneyland with your trip that 8-12 is the best age...this was her face on all the rides. Magic.

Face painting was so fun and luckily that stuff doesn't bother her...Pam and I had to join in on the fun too.

Maisie liked taking our pictures - Grandma Pam was so patient and all about spoiling us!

We got to the park each day early and went hard till lunch-ish. Then we went back and napped, and returned for my favorite time of day in Disneyland...night!

Our last day at Disneyland we rode behind "Sulley" and savored Main Street one last time on this lazy ride.

We left the park really really tired but with no regrets. We'd done it all and ate it all and filled Maisie with a million fun memories.

It took me at least a week AFTER getting home to feel better and get back on my feet. It's been about a month now and my sore throat and sore feet have long recovered and now I'll just remember some of those special moments with her in Disneyland. I won't even share them in detail... they defy words.

(To a 90 year old Stefanie...or maybe even a 50 year old Stefanie...if you forget those referred to moments...just remember this smile)

2011-05-29T16:38:00.000-07:00

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, a time to reap that which is planted
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace

I swear it's not to late...

(and then we went and had milkshakes at a really special spot to our family...)

Maisie's Disneyland Trip '11

2011-05-22T21:57:00.000-07:00

This trip definitely warrants LOTS of journaling but time is short here lately...and I know you all just LOVE the pictures anyway.

So soon, I'll journal for my record keeping and here's a start tonight at some of our best pictures.

We made lots of wonderful memories:

Perfect Nothing

2011-05-08T18:51:00.001-07:00

Today is Mother's Day and I was given the gift of doing nothing.

It has been so wonderfully restful.

It's almost 7pm and I still am in my jammies, glasses and if I'm being real honest I don't believe I've brushed my teeth.

A bit like a sick day, but I'm not sick...

A couple movies, a couple of meals made by Mike, a long long nap, and some new perfume from my babies.

I love my husband so much for letting my wishes come into reality and for my mom and mother-in-law, who have always understood that I'm a mom too.

Perfect nothing...but I think I'll go get in the shower now...

Just like Life

2011-05-06T11:59:00.001-07:00

Last week you all know was super exciting for our little family of five! So much joy.

But isn't it just like our lives to feel and experience many emotions all in a week.

WE found out we were going to be having a son, and we also were saddened in remembering the one year passing of my dad. I've spent the last few weeks listening to his music on cds my sister has made and weeping at the deep pain that the songs bring back up to the surface. The girls are learning and loving songs by Fleetwood Mac, the Eagles, Simon and Garfunkel and Neil Diamond. I have to say they have fabulous taste and my dad would be so proud that Stevie Nicks is their favorite of all.

Can I say again..what a week!!!

My good friend Jessi summed it all up at dinner the other night by saying that she believed God gave me a little boy to help fill a void, where another man in my life was now gone. She said it more eloquently than I can replicate here. But it made me feel really good. Jessi, my childhood playmate and college roommate, and her husband were my only non-family friends that made it to his service and I will forever be grateful. I didn't even know that I would want anyone there for me, but in the end I realized I did, and she must have known that. It was a really really special service.

God continues to heal, but only those that have lost someone so close to you will know that it still hurts.

My brother wrote me this wonderful note the night before the anniversary of Dad's death. Of course I sobbed when I read it, but it makes me feel a lot better to have my sister and brother at my side in all this:

I’m just wrapping up a work day and wanted to write to tell you I’m excited for you to have a baby boy. Sad you won’t have another little girl but happy that you get to experience all that boys entail. Are you sad Dad won’t have met this one? I’m sure you are. I hadn’t thought of that until now. And of course I’m crying as I type this. He would have loved to have another boy around. I’m convinced he would have been such a neat grandpa had he been healthy when the kids were little(er).

Please pass this along to Mike as I can’t seem to find his email address right now. I’ll pray for your new son (is that as weird to read as it is to type?) … for his healthy arrival in 20 weeks (+/-), for your girls to have open hearts for their new baby brother, and for your guidance as parents raising a man of God. (We are entrusted with so much as parents.)

Love you Stef.

Your little brother.

Jon

We spent April 29th at my Grandparents, playing cards and eating pizza, laughing a lot and barely talking about Dad. But doing what we've been doing a LOT more this past year - enjoying each other while we have each other her to enjoy!

It's sure been an up and down year for me. My heart has grown about double the size - like a muscle that is suddenly being used in a different way and has to become torn down and then strengthened through the hard work.

Turn the Clock Back Sort of Day

2011-04-28T14:21:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was one of those "top ten" sorta days for me. You know the kinda day that you look forward to for a long time, it beats your expectations and then you wake up the next morning wanting to do it all over again?!

I'm so glad we have decided to "find out" each time we have had a baby. Each time I have toyed with the idea of waiting, but I just LOVE to know. And last night I realized that it really is a BONUS day in the process of having a baby and right at the needed time too. The day of delivery is immeasurably exciting and rewarding whether you know or don't know, so when you get to announce the sex at 20-ish weeks, it's like you gain a delivery day of sorts. And for someone who loves everything about babies and would have 20 if there wasn't a cap on energy, money, and age in my life...I soaked in "BONUS" delivery day yesterday.

The day started off unexpectedly great. A friend came by for a long visit and she brought me a coffee too. Those two combos are a favorite of mine. And she's not just a friend I enjoy, but a friend I need. Without her visit, the time would have gone S L O W. But as it was, it went super fast!

Then I dropped off Ruby and Maisie at another sweet friend's house. I didn't even have to ask for her help - she made sure to offer. It was a really quick drop off and I squeaked into my regular appointment a few minutes late. But not too late, because I was able to do a couple texts in the waiting room and have a busy Mike join me just in time too.

Mike got to meet our new midwife for the first time in her work environment. She actually attended our Financial Peace class too, so we know each other now on two different fronts. How cool are small towns?! Not a long appointment either because when it is your fourth baby there aren't many questions left to ask :)

Then it was off to the ultrasound across the hall. Again, we love the fact that we live in a small town, because the ultrasound tech has been with us with each baby, she lives around the corner and her daughter and Daphne are in the same class. In fact she was one of six 7 year olds at the recent slumber party we held at our house.

It was awesome because she was really excited for us. When she told us we were expecting a BOY in the first minute of the scan, she announced that she had the goosebumps! We were completely shocked. I keep using that word in my texts and emails to people...but it is true. I expected a girl and frankly didn't think Mike and I "made" little boys. But there it was...staring back at us. So obvious too.

Of course I smiled the entire hour of pictures of my baby. I could have frozen time, but at the same time I couldn't wait to tell everyone either. We texted our good friend and neighbor, who was in charge of a special task: to gather a "It's a Boy!" balloon and deliver it to Daphne's school. These are our past Pastor and Pastor's wife and they mean the world to Daph, so it was super special. They took pictures for us too. At the end of the appointment our tech and friend, said that it was an "absolute privilege" to have been there with us when we found out the news.

After that it was back to our separate jobs and lots of texts and phone calls. I was in heaven bombarded with the most "congratulations" sent my way in a long time. And everyone was as surprised as us. It was hard too because I was really tired, and my nap-less little girls were crabby.

Luckily my mom came over soon after we got home and helped me by playing with them. I had to run an errand and then cook a homemade meal and clean up the house for our next round of guests. Bless my mother for always being the servant behind the scenes. She was thrilled with the news too.

Mike and Pam came over at 6pm to hear the announcement in person. They were adamant that it was going to be a girl, so we chuckled as we told them they were wrong:) Mike's dad was like, "Are you sure?!!" And when you see the picture, you will know too that yes we are sure! They even brought a little girl and little boy outfit all wrapped up for the occasion. Luckily the little boy outfit was the cutest one this time - I love it!

By then, I was running on adrenaline alone, but barely still functioning. And yet feeling so amazingly blessed and thrilled.

I have to end with our last reflection of the day when we went to bed. It's honest and I can't judge our feelings because they are pure. Mike and I both said we were a bit sad it wasn't a girl. Isn't that funny? Now, that doesn't mean we didn't want a boy too. It's just that people thought we were being P.C. when we said we didn't care either way. We weren't lying. We wanted a little girl. We wanted a little boy. So we went to bed letting go of the idea of one more pink bundle, but blown away that we are going to get to experience a little blue one.

No more ponderings of names like Verbena May, Violet Sue or Mike's favorite Izzy (Isabel Ann). Or even Dottie, Hattie, Lottie, Eliza Jean etc etc. I think I am mourning little girls names more than anything.

My sister and law and I will probably go into a baby name business for the stars, because we are obsessed.

It's now my passion to find the most rugged and yet classic...I could be a cowboy or baseball player boy name that fits my husband. I've got a partner in crime in my husband who likes the name game too.

I still can't believe it everyone...and the girls are getting used to the idea too...in a few months, we will have our fourth and final child...a little boy!

My scanner didn't too so hot with these:

More to come...

2011-04-27T19:52:00.000-07:00

It's been a wonderful day! And now I am ready to relax and ponder and give THANKS in a much anticipated quiet moment.

Folks, we found out we are having our first little boy! We are a bit shocked, surprised, and super excited.

Tomorrow I will show you his sweet pictures and maybe even his first little outfit too.

But for now, I'm going to just sit.

A little boy....us....what?!?

Smiles.

Couldn't Resist

2011-04-26T16:43:00.000-07:00

Mike and I just finished the Financial Peace class - and we are attempting to be "gazelle intense" about eliminating debt and putting a name to every cent we bring in and put out.

It's exciting. But I can still "look" and smile too.

Today I visited Janie and Jack online for the first time in years probably.

These were two sale items.

12.99

13.99

I don't need either one, but I sure can't wait to find out which one would fit in this baby's closet.

In two days...

2011-04-25T13:56:00.000-07:00

We will know if this little babe is a boy or girl! I can't wait:)

Start guessing now and I'll post Wednesday after we tell family!

Happy Easter

2011-04-23T09:10:00.000-07:00

To all of us mommies:

The day before Easter means (or some version of this):

Last minute shoe shopping for kids.

Washing white sweaters that were handed down but have a little stain on them.

Sewing a shoulder strap that has come undone.

Boiling eggs to dye later.

Preparing a Sunday School lesson that is extra special for the next morning.

Reviewing a recipe to make special Easter cookies that tell the story and will bake all night and turn out hollow inside the next morning.

Stuffing plastic eggs with candy for the big egg hunt with cousins tomorrow.

Renting the new Easter Veggie Tales movie.

Buying fresh flowers for the kids to put in the Easter Cross tomorrow during worship songs.

Readying a special meal for my mom tonight, since we won't be with her tomorrow...

Keep praying that I remain calm and breath... because none of the above is what TOMORROW is all about!

Happy Easter and keep smiling fellow Moms!

Quick Sales

2011-04-20T16:58:00.000-07:00

Well, it hasn't been two days and I sold everything posted here, but the decorative shelf.

I even had to tell a couple that they were too late - sorry Button Family:( The chairs went fast!

My Disneyland envelope is growing...Hurray!

For Sale

2011-04-19T09:33:00.000-07:00

I'm using my blog this am to post some pictures of things I am selling. All these items have never been used.

I sent out an email to some close friends, but I redirected them here to see the pics since the blog format is so much easier for downloading pictures.

Maisie and I are on our way to Disneyland soon and I'm trying to earn some fun cash!

Red bucket - $5

Set of three Pottery Barn Kids Hangers $10 (for set of 3)
Usually sold for 10 each.
(Great for wreaths or frames)

Set of two never been used frames - $10

Size 12 Hello Kitty sneakers - never been out of box - $15

Decorative Shelf - $10

Set of 2 Red Kid Chairs - Never out of wrapped packaging..
(I opened and assembled two, and never needed the other 2)

$10 each

Large Star - $5

Just for Fun

2011-04-13T17:18:00.001-07:00

Most of the time my internet job is quite boring..but tonight I got a more interesting image task and I couldn't help but want to share some of the pics I saw with you.

I have such more meaningful posts in my head but the above mentioned job takes all my free time:( I promise to share soon...especially after the slumber party we are posting this weekend for Daphne and her girlfriends!

For some reason a lot of the images were pregnant bellies and fall weddings...of course both are right up my alley! (Mike and I wed on Nov 21st)

Can you believe that picture????!!!!

There had better be two or three babies in there! Wow....

I want to live there!

Isn't that the best wedding favor ever --- a bag of fresh apples with their favorite pie recipe!

Someday I want a photo like that one...it reminds me that in the beginning it was just us, and someday it will be just us again too.

The above picture is included only for Pam!

Something Men Won't Ever Really Get

2011-03-25T15:38:00.000-07:00

When I gave birth to Daphne, I chose to do it without any drugs. Luckily it was a relatively quick birth for a first baby...otherwise I may not have survived:) During transition I remember focusing on the curtain in the room and thinking, "either this baby is going to have to come out RIGHT now, or I will pass out and not be alive to meet my daughter." I could go on and on about that experience, but it isn't the point of this blog post.

Not long after Daphne arrived and my life began as a mother, my father in law, very curiously asked me to explain the pain of childbirth. I can't even remember if it was over the phone or in person and I'm pretty sure I had no words to describe it. You know that feeling?! I think he got that I was having trouble coming up with an adequate comparison and so he quickly jumped right in and in complete genuine curiosity asked, "Is it like when you stub your toe really badly?"

Once again on my part there were no words in response. I think I may have said, "no, not really!" And he let it go.

I still chuckle about that comment every once in awhile. And to his defense, his wife had two c-sections, in which the fathers weren't allowed in the operating room...so he's never witnessed one. I just love that he was trying so hard to understand what I had just gone through.

Well, I couldn't help but rethink my thoughts on his question the other day when I stubbed my pinky toe very badly. Granted I KNOW it wasn't anywhere NEAR labor pains w/o any meds...seven years have passed since Daphne's birth and my toe did hurt A LOT! As I lay on Ruby's bed sputtering some choice words...I took back some of my chuckles about my father in law's question years ago.

I had no baby to show for it and a broken little toe.

(my feet look so gross in these pictures..)

This Girl of Mine

2011-03-22T15:10:00.000-07:00

Since I no longer write in their baby books, I think this is a fitting place for me to record the girls' milestones. I should and need to do it more often. Their quirky, sweet, and sometimes challenging phases come and go and I want to remember them. I want to remember what Spring 2011 was like in Ruby's development as a outgoing three year old, and the trials and tribulations and growth that Maisie is allowing me to experience with her, and the triumphs of a little first graders life.

Daphne is soaring. I often repeat in my head, "thank goodness" for Daphne. She warms my heart, and makes it burst with pride daily. Here are some recent examples of the warming and the bursting:

Speaking of phases...Ruby is coming out of one in which she was scared to go to bed alone. Every night as bedtime approaches she still always asks me, "Me come get you in your room?"...which means , "If I get really scared, can I know that you'll be in your room, down the hall, and that I can wake you up?". Of course, we don't want a habit of that, and she actually never does it...but I always answer, "yes, if you are feeling really sick or very scared." Daphne loves her little sis so much that she spent a few nights sleeping in Ruby's room to smooth things over for everyone - her decision. And on nights when I said she couldn't sleep with Ruby or she didn't want to, Ruby would sometimes go into Daphne's room and cry that she was scared. Daphne has a really tender heart and basically didn't know how to help her little sister.

So one evening, Daphne marched down the stairs with this note and handed it to Mike:

Our hearts melted FAST.

Daphne also is loving school life. She gets into school spirit (picking out purple each Friday)and memorizing their school song (we all know it now!), chats about all her classmates and roots for them too, and wants to dress special on any sort of thematic occasion. On Dr. Seuss' birthday we did "who-ville hair" and colorful attire, and she wanted me to make her a paper necklace that stated, "I'm a who-girl." Then on St. Patty's day we straightened her hair and painted it green. I can't even tell you how excited this makes me for her high school years! I hope she doesn't become "too cool" to be bold!

The best memory of late was when we were on our way somewhere and she put on her make-up..which I let her wear to very informal events, like days with Grandmas. She tucked her favorite book under her arm and pranced out to the van stating,

"I think I'm gonna be the type of girl that is real stylish..but kinda book-wormy too". I think my smile cracked my cheeks...I mean, how cute was that. And that is a mother's dream...a daughter who cares about her appearance and that enjoys dressing up...but is very academic too!

Speaking about academic...she came home on Friday bursting with joy. Two kids had been chosen from her class to proceed to the next round of the school's spelling bee. She was one of them! She spelled words like "soloist", "mountain", and "scissors" correctly. That was one of those proud moments that I mentioned above. She's always been all about words!

Last but not least to wrap up Daphne's milestones right now...she is taking tumbling and improving leaps and bounds. She is super close to her back walk over and if you stopped over unexpectedly at any one moment you would probably find her in handstand form. She rarely stops practicing.

Next on Daphne's agenda is her all girl slumber party that she has been planning for the last couple months..just waiting for her mom to feel better. All her friends are awaiting it anxiously and we're pinpointing an April date soon! When I sub at her school, which has been often lately, I have lunch with Daphne and get to chat with her girlfriends. It is such a perk to the day. Pictures of the momentous slumber party to come!!

12 weeks and Counting

2011-02-26T07:38:00.001-08:00

This week I made the milestone of 12 weeks in my pregnancy. It felt really good, because I typically start feeling better around this point. And it's been true to the past...this week was much more manageable. I'm still nauseous in the evening, but the day time icky is gone, and a tiny bit of energy is bursting through.

It's hard to really say this for sure, but this has seemed like the hardest first trimester so far. I can't believe this is my fourth time around!! On top of extreme symptoms, I had a really bad cold in there and a round of the flu.

My house has never ever ever been so out of control. It made me feel even worse about myself ... but on the flip, my husband was super supportive and easy going about the disaster. And, I couldn't help but rest or sleep every time I had a free moment.

But I started climbing out of the pile this week...little by little and there is a light of hope again:)

(yay for a new camera that takes such pretty pictures too)

I'll have my next appointment on March 10th and it will feel comforting to finally hear the baby's heart beat. When you aren't showing or experiencing movement it's easy to be worried.

Oh, and my dear friend just had her very first baby this week...so I get to go hold her soon. I can't wait:)

Snow Day 2011

2011-02-24T17:53:00.000-08:00

What a wonderful surprise/gift this morning ....lots of snow and NO SCHOOL!!! I'm just like a kid when it comes to snow days...yippee!

We played out front with all the neighbor kids and moms and dads too! You won't see Maisie because Mike coined it "Maisie day" and took her out to breakfast, to the grocery store and out to see the movie "Gnomeo and Juliet". Since she refuses to wear pants I was glad she was hangin' out with her dad during our snow play!

Then when our toes were frozen...we came back inside to thaw out. It was then a long day of the kids keeping themselves occupied. Ruby found her own kind of fun and we're trying not to read into it too much:) Ha!

2011-02-18T11:50:00.000-08:00

We made these today at moms group. It's been awhile since we did a craft and it was very simply and sweet. I bought votives at Joanne's - 2 for each "basket" to hold the flowers/water.

Notice the center piece is a large brown bag with normal daffodils in it:) We just did the minis today!!

Don't they just scream...come on Spring already!

A Great Winter Getaway!

2011-02-07T13:06:00.001-08:00

A couple weeks ago we stole away to Great Wolf Lodge for two nights! The Lodge is as wonderful as everyone says...Daphne even said she liked it better than Disneyland...that girl loves the water!

It was a perfect winter getaway..it's 84 degrees in the water park all the time and lots of great food and exercise too. Up and down the stairs we trod to go on the big tall slides with Maisie and Daph...who were tall and brave enough.

It was a good distraction from my ever present nauseous state..although I threw up in a Christmas gift bag on the way there. Oh, that shall be a memory I don't want to remember.

No truly, truly the girls had such a fun time. Mike and I were smiles too just watching them enjoy and be wowed at such a resort.

Meet Someone New

2011-01-28T08:22:00.001-08:00

We decided to try for baby number four, and New Years Eve found out that I was pregnant.

Yesterday I had my first ultrasound...just 8 weeks along. Everything is looking good, so we decided to tell people.

I'm very excited, but feeling very sick. It's a bit rough here right now.

Baby is due September 8th....1 day after Daphne's birthday. Wowzers:)

My Baby is Three

2011-01-10T19:17:00.000-08:00

Daphne and Maisie started back to school on Monday, January 3rd...and Ruby celebrated her third birthday.

I threw her a little party with around 9 of her little girlfriends, and their mommies - my friends. I planned it during Daph and Maisie's school hours so that Ruby could be the star of her party with no competition from her sisters. She ate up the attention!!!

They enjoyed Dora cake courtesy of Grandma Pam, played with toys and opened presents. It was really a fun morning!

Then that night we celebrated again with the grandparents.

Unfortunately that is around when the fun stopped for me. I had begun to feel very icky after the big morning gathering and by dinner time I was stuck in my chair...not much of a hostess. Maisie soon curled into my lap with aches and pains too. Her and I went to bed together at 7:30...me with nausea, body aches and chills, and Maisie throwing up every 30 minutes to an hour! Ruby threw up around 3am. I slept very little that night and by the morning about 80% of our household bedding was thrown in my bathtub, ready to be washed when I felt better.

What a Monday! And so much for getting back into a school, homework, New Years resolutions rhythm. Mostly all I got done was laundry!

BUT a side note is that Ruby is now potty trained...that alone is such a wonderful milestone:)

Christmas Scrapbook 2010

2011-01-07T15:04:00.000-08:00

Quick Documentation

2010-12-23T23:10:00.000-08:00

The other day I was cleaning and found one of the many Christmas cards Daphne has made this season. This one in particular was for me.

Inside it read, "Mom, I love you more than deviled eggs and Christmas time"

Wow, how do I rate?! Glad to know she likes me more than her favorite appetizer.

On that note of recording funny things these girls say and do, The other night Mike got on Ruby's pretend phone and said, "Santa, Ruby is on the naughty list." Ruby walked away and in a low voice we heard her say back into her phone, (whispers...)"Santa, it's me Ruby. My daddy just kidding. Me no on naughty list"

Now, that one is at a fun age!

The Best Story of all

2010-12-23T17:13:00.000-08:00

Tonight at our candlelight service I will have the privilege of reading the nativity story to a whole bunch of pajama-clad kids IN FRONT of the entire congregation. I've got butterflies already. I'm hoping it goes really well and that I remember it's not about if my voice sounds funny or if the crowd isn't even engaged. I am praying the little ones understand the significance of that little baby.

I created this slideshow, even though we decided to go with a normal power point. I couldn't let it go to waste though...so sit your kids down sometime around the computer and let them watch. I believe you can pause and read along:)

Create a free greeting card

A Fabulous Gift

2010-12-22T00:01:00.000-08:00

I can't be lengthy here, cuz it's midnight and I need to start doing some wrapping.

But I have to just document that my sister gave me a wonderful gift this Christmas. She asked to take my girls for a night. I got to drop them off at 2ish today, and will pick em up tomorrow around noon. They were going to do some baking with her:) Oh my goodness, I so needed this!

I finished my shopping...two hours after entering Target's doors this afternoon.

Then I picked up take-out and sat down with Mike to eat, watch a movie and work on my Christmas cards. I'm almost done with them.

Now to start wrapping.

I figure even if I stay up til 2AM, I can sleep in a bit.

Thank you Lesley!!!

Baby It's Cold Outside (and a little sick one inside)

2010-12-17T08:49:00.000-08:00

Maisie is still throwing up everybody. Last night at one point when she was laying in the middle of the hallway, bent over with stomach pain, she said, "mom, I think I am going to die"...and then in a quiet voice to she said, "oh, Jesus, please..." And then later when Mike and I were both laying with her after another round at the toilet, she said, "I just don't know what I would do without my family." Oh honey!

So far we've had to cancel a regular kids swap date, not attend Maisie's music program, miss out on Maisie's Christmas party at preschool today and I won't make Daphne's party, even though I planned and prepped it all and sent it all in a tub today with Daph. Needless to say, it's been a week out of my control.

It reminds me a little bit of the year before last when we had that BIG snowstorm and everything got canceled. In both situations, I felt God saying, "Wow, Stefanie you need to SLOW way down and stop DOING so much and concentrate on what matters most." SNOW and PUKE both are show stoppers!

We have spent a lot of time in front of the tv (something we previously gave up for advent but got reinstated in survival mode)...watching holiday movies, and listening to Christmas music, and me doing lots of laundry and dishes. We even still made our gingerbread houses...although I could tell Maisie was so not herself when she wanted me to do it for her and she didn't want to eat any of the candy!!!

It's not quite over, but I feel like it's FRIDAY and I made it!!!

Here's a little Maisie story that just happened on our way to take D to school. My good friend, Leah, made me a great Christmas cd, and the first song is "Baby it's cold outside". Today it started to play and Ruby said, "not this one mom"...to which Maisie responded, "I like it. It's about a girl who wants to go out in the snow, but her father won't let her". Ha! Even sick, she's crackin' me up!

Santa Trip Gone Sour

2010-12-13T20:13:00.000-08:00

Tonight I took the girls to see Santa. It was a much anticipated event.

You see, we had actually planned to go last Thursday, but Daphne had the throw-up/24 hr bug. I hadn't planned for illness and it threw my perfectly planned advent calendar out of whack. I bounced back and switched things around and instead, we had a wonderful evening entitled, "Family Game Night - Christmas Style". They unwrapped a new Christmas Matching Game (it was a dollar one I found at Michaels) to kick off the nights' games. It's a cute little game - but goes fast with 4 people (Ruby and I were a team). Then we played Christmas Bingo. Find it here if you too want to play it~ http://www.dltk-cards.com/bingo/bingo1.asp Lastly, I put the easel in the middle of the living room floor and we played Christmas pictionary. The girls thought of their own subjects and did a really cute job of drawing. Maisie was the first to draw and when Daphne guessed correctly, she got very peeved and said, "Daphne cheated...she guessed it before I was done drawing"...she is our artist and had to finish all the details before stopping:)

So, back to today and a second attempt at Santa. It was going to have to be executed perfectly. We would leave when Daphne got home from school. I would pack snacks and drinks to avoid any costs besides gas. I even borrowed a couple Christmas cartoons for the long ride. We would have to be quick to get back for a 7pm meeting I had at church. Everything was going as planned until we arrived to the mall of choice. Maisie started complaining of her tummy hurting (this had happened this am too, but it seemed to go away). I was about to turn the van around and sadly call it quits, but her cramps seemed to wane and she said we could try.

I got them bundled up for the outdoor mall experience and we sailed right into a NO LINE Santa experience. We entered a cozy little house, complete with coloring tables, fireplace and candy canes and a Santa that could win prizes. They walked up to him and got their peppermint stick. Each took a turn telling him what they wanted for Christmas, but they seemed nervous and he wasn't great at engaging them. We were about ready to take a picture when Maisie's eyes got really big and she bent over in pain and started heaving. After throwing up once, I quickly got her outside, but didn't make it too far when she threw up A LOT more, right on the ramp up to the Santa House.

I had no wipes or anything. I had to borrow a passerby's and clean Maisie up the best I could. Then I put her on the outside bench with her candy cane to suck on, and went back in to apologize and get the other girls. I DID get a quick picture of them on Santa's lap as I kept my eye on Maisie out on the bench.

They had to close the Santa House temporarily and I explained and apologized to a couple families that had just showed up to visit.

We were only at the mall for a short time and we had to head straight back to the van.

Oh well. It's one memory I shan't forget. Not so merry, but I'll hold onto taking care of my little five year old for sure.

(in fact this post was composed in two parts, interrupted once by a crying little girl with a very bad tummy ache)

A Week of hot glue, late nights and unexpected blessings!

2010-12-11T12:20:00.000-08:00

Today at our women's Christmas breakfast, I had the privilege of giving a "homemade gift" presentation. I promised the ladies that I would blog about it so that they could see up-close pictures and get more directions. I used Martha Stewart's website exclusively and she has great instructions and templates too. So hopefully I can leave the links here for everyone that wants them.

Everyone (45plus women) got one of these as their party favor:

Here's a picture of one:

This is how they looked at Martha's site:

http://www.marthastewart.com/article/cookie-cutter-ornaments?backto=true&backtourl=/photogallery/christmas-ornaments#slide_27

My favorite one:

I made one of these button wreath ornaments. (They are really easy and super cute!)

http://www.marthastewart.com/article/button-wreath-ornament?backto=true&backtourl=/photogallery/christmas-ornaments#slide_23

Here's some gingerbread baked right in a clean, recycled tin can. Fill the can 2/3 full and keep an eye on it baking...then after it cools you add the tissue paper and a string or twine and it's an adorable gift presentation. The gingerbread can then be sliced and powdered with sugar by the recipient.

Mine:

Martha's:

Do you remember when I blogged about these peppermint jars a couple years ago? I had to show the ladies this one. The contents are candy canes that have had the arch carefully cut off (so that they are just sticks) and carefully placed against the glass periphery of the bottom of the large mason jar. Add tissue paper in the middle so that the sticks stand up straight. There should be no gaps between the sticks. Then layer marshmallow jelly beans, and lastly wrapped peppermint discs. The jar lids were previously spray painted red and left over night to dry, and to finish the presentation, wrap a red and white ribbon around the jar.

I found this cute way to display and give your holiday cookies. The sleeves are cheap, and Martha Stewart has great templates for making on adhesive paper. I used ribbon and computer labels instead to decorate mine. What a fun party favor, or quick thank you gift etc etc....

http://www.marthastewart.com/portal/site/mslo/menuitem.3a0656639de62ad593598e10d373a0a0/?vgnextoid=f5ef3a6f5c470110VgnVCM1000003d370a0aRCRD&vgnextfmt=default&backto=true&backtourl=%2Fphotogallery%2Fholiday-clip-art-crafts#slide_6

I also showed them creative ways to wrap gifts. The empty wrapped boxes also served as the table centers at the breakfast.

Here's some ideas for letting the kids make wrapping paper:

How mine turned out:

I found the plain, glossy white wrapping paper at Walmart in the regular wrapping section - it's great for paint, handwriting practice and marker pictures. Also old calendars are fun for wrap too!

Here's an idea for a whimsical present topper:
http://www.marthastewart.com/photogallery/bows-ribbons-gift-toppers#slide_22

This is a great way to decorate your gift and make it personal for the one receiving it - you might even get away with a gift card this way:

Martha's staff used recycled Christmas cards:

I used pretty cardstock:

http://www.marthastewart.com/photogallery/gift-wrapping-ideas-for-kids#slide_10

I love this classic holiday look...I used sweet red and white ribbons and a bit of hot glue. I used the plain white roll again and all red wrap too in that same section at Walmart. Since I had to wrap empty boxes, I think I may save them for decorations under my tree or around the house! Okay, I actually ran out of empty boxes and had to wrap cereal, our leather furniture cleaning kit and some other things that will have to be unwrapped:(

This last gift is possibly my favorite. It's a natural, home made body scrub. The recipe is 2 cups of Epsom salts or sugar, 1 cup carrier oil (I used grapeseed oil from Winco's shelf), and 8 drops essential oil (from our health food store - I chose peppermint and grapefruit. Oh, and one drop food coloring too. Once again, the following link has templates for labels....I used sheets of clear labels and cut mine out. They turned out super duper adorable!

These are mine:

Now Martha's:

http://www.marthastewart.com/article/natural-beauties-body-scrub?backto=true&backtourl=/photogallery/our-25-most-popular-gifts#slide_3

Just in case you don't know what "essential oils" look like (and they are spendy - 7 to 10 bucks each...but last a long time)

This was a LONG week for me. I did all the above, plus the girls' advent activities, subbed two half days, have a little internet job right now too , and entertained/cooked in my home Friday night. Did I add laundry and dishes? I really thought I might NOT survive it. But I enlisted some friends to pray, took one day at a time and tried to breathe. Mike was super supportive and helped a lot too! I really had a fantastic week - God covered me for sure. I did only get 4 hrs of sleep the last two nights in a row, but even that was blessed with Hallmark Christmas movies, and a girlfriend "night owl" neighbor who texted back and forth with me in those late hours. Even now, my girls are all parceled out- an unexpected surprise and I'm all ALONE doing this lengthy blog post. God is good.

Now, I may take a LONG WINTERS NAP....and btw, I picked up these little treasures at the health store. I leave you with a picture of this newest discovery of mine:

Motivational

2010-12-05T15:10:00.001-08:00

This dress makes me want to eat lettuce and run on my treadmill.
I found it at a great site on my girlfriend Darci's website...it's almost affordable if I had 69.99 to spend on a dress.

Do you girls love it too?

Advent Season (days 1, 2 and 3)

2010-12-04T08:04:00.001-08:00

This year, along with many other moms I know, I'm being more intentional with teaching the girls the true meaning of Christmas and also including lots of traditional holiday fun too. We actually haven't even decorated and hung the official advent pockets yet because life has been TOO busy for my liking, but I have stuck true to starting Advent Season:).

So on day one the girls unwrapped this fun toy:

I should have bought it years ago because Daphne is a little past playing with it, but Maisie and Ruby adore it. Plus in searching for a picture to show you, I found out there are more pieces you can buy so I'm excited to add to it next year:) The best thing I did was play with them that day and interject all the real things that happened that special day. I want them to hold the angel and say, "To you a King is born!" What a teaching tool if you help them with it!

On the second day, we waited til after dinner to break out our first candy canes and discuss what they mean and watch The Legend of the Candy Cane together as a family. Maisie learned the word staff. We also have the book and will read it another day to reinforce this message:)

On the third day in this journey leading up to Jesus' birth, I told them that this was our day of "visiting". Just like the shepherds and wise men did that special day, we were going to visit some loved ones. I took Daphne out of school early and we headed to my G and G's house for lunch and play. They are 83 and 82 and so healthy and pleasant to be with. Grandma makes Daphne's favorite meal - tuna fish sandwich, complete with ruffles, pickles, and cheese and summer sausage sliced up real pretty and crystal light. Of course there were chocolates and jelly beans in crystal dishes that they can't keep their little hands out of! They already were completely decorated for Christmas - even outside lights. Can you believe their health?! I'm in awe everytime we visit. And the best part is that when we leave and I start to clean up the girls' messes, my Grandma always says, "Oh don't do that....we'll do that when you leave, it's no problem." Plus there's the handing out of dollars from Grandpa in return for a goodbye hug. I love them so much.

Then we headed to my other 80 plus year old Grandma's house a little drive away. We took our favorite American Girl movie (Samantha) and watched it all snuggled around Grandma's living room. She made us popcorn and again the chocolate came out. My girls were in sugar heaven. They all left with a treasure from Grandma, and mine was a full heart for sure. We awed over farm houses all decorated for Christmas on the dark ride home and listened to Christmas music on the radio.

I loved our day of "visiting" the most so far. You have got to do it with your kids, even if it's to a care home because relatives are far away.

Now my hope is that we'll get to the "decking of our halls" this weekend. First I have to stop blogging and get to cleaning!

Thanks to Dad

2010-12-02T06:56:00.000-08:00

In no specific order here's some of the best pictures from my family's Thanksgiving beach trip. It was amazing and made for many special memories:

2 turkeys on the traeger bbq turned out so yummy - we cooked all day...

Dance Party USA

Uncle George brought 2 Ipads and the kids took turns being engrossed in fun games!

I held this little guy a lot all weekend - Mr. Lincoln is 10 months

More cooking - but did I say yet that my sisters killed me in a crazy workout Thanksgiving day?
There was even sprinting hills - man was I sore!

Ruby loves her littlest cousin and is now okay if we someday have a baby boy.

Why not add homemade macaroni and cheese to our calories that day?

Daphne made place mats for all 8 kids:)

Our photogenic Emerson...(did I tell you we took 7 kids to Tangled?!)

Sorry Ruby!

The living area was gianormous...

Meghann and Lincoln

They are so much louder when we ride in the truck and they are right behind our ears....eek!

Our beautiful rental...

Lots of beautiful homes all around us...

Mr. Cole who sang all the chapters in the Bible to us at one point. He's five but heading to either college or Jedi school next year....

It was a blessed time. My dad would have been so proud of his grandkids. I'm so sad he's missing so much.